ADVENTURES

NURSE

EDITED BY J/1MES PHINNEY MUNROE

LIBRARY

OF THE

UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA.

Class

Adventures

of

An Army Nurse

/

ff

Adventures

of an

Army Nurse in Two Wars

Edited from the Diary and Correspondence rf

Mary Phinney

Baroness von Olnhausen

By James Phinney Munroe

With a Portrait

Boston

Little, Brown, and Company 1904

SG nnoM

Copyright, 1903, BY LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY.

All rightt reserved Published October, 1903

UNIVERSITY PRESS • JOHN WILSON AND SON • CAMBRIDGE, U.S. A.

ADVENTURES

OF

AN ARMY NURSE

IN TWO WARS

CHAPTER I

IN the south part of the historic town of Lex ington, Massachusetts, lies a farm of many acres gently sloping from high, wooded hills on the east towards the valley of Hobbs' Brook — now converted into a reservoir for Cam bridge — on the west. Divided by the shaded country road which leads from Lexington village, past the birthplace of Theodore Parker, to the city of Waltham, this farm comprises on the one side orchards and cultivated meadows, on the other a wide expanse of grass-land sweeping in soft curves around the site of the dwelling-house and accented at the roadway's edge by magnificent rock maples brought from New Hampshire by " Squire " Phinney seventy years ago. This es tate, the beauty of which is unsurpassed in Lex ington, was almost continuously, from 1786 to

219181

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1849, the home of Elias Phinney, the father of Mary (Phinney) von Olnhausen.

The first New England Phinney, John, came to Cape Cod about nine years after the landing of the Pilgrims, and settled in what is now the town of Scituate. His son John married Mary Rogers, granddaughter to that Thomas Rogers who was a passenger on the first " Mayflower " voyage and a signer of the " Compact." In the third genera tion from them was a Benjamin Phinney who, since he removed to Granville, Nova Scotia, in 1774, and did not return until 1786, it is fair to presume was a Tory. This suspicion is deepened by the fact that he did not come back to Falmouth, where he was born, but to Lexington, at that time remote enough from Cape Cod to escape any pos sible lingerings of local animosity.

This Benjamin Phinney and his wife, Susanna, had nine children. Of these the seventh, and the last to be born in Nova Scotia, was Elias, who, at the age of six, came with his father and mother to the farm in Lexington. Educated in the district school and by the harder tuition of a large farm; practised, too, in cabinet making, which was his father's trade, Elias fitted himself for Harvard College, paid his own way there, and was grad uated in the Class of 1801. Electing thereafter to follow the law, he studied with an eminent

Adventures of an Army Nurse 3

lawyer in Maine and practised his profession in Thomaston for about ten years.

Eight years after his graduation from Harvard, Elias Phinney married Catherine Bartlett, daugh ter of Dr. Josiah Bartlett, of Charlestown, Massa chusetts. This Dr. Bartlett, born in 1759, had attended Harvard College. His studies inter rupted by the opening Revolution, he had taken up surgery in the office of Dr. Isaac Foster, and, as surgeon's mate, had tended the wounded of Bunker Hill and of later battles of the War for Independence. Not only in surgery, but in his tory and archaeology, Dr. Bartlett made for himself an honored name; and, as a Mason, he repeatedly filled the office of Grand Warden of the Grand Lodge of Massachusetts. A funeral ora tion upon George Washington, an address of welcome to President Monroe when that official visited Charlestown, and a history of Charlestown are among the literary productions of a man who was a leading citizen of his day and town. Dr. Bartlett married Elizabeth Call, of Charlestown, and by her had sixteen children, of whom the second, Catherine, became the wife of Elias Phinney.

Two or three years after their marriage, the Phinneys removed from Thomaston to Charles- town, and he continued there the practice of the

4 Adventures of an Army Nurse

law, holding many estates in trust, and taking a prominent part in the affairs of the town until, in 1823, his father being then over seventy years of age and unable to carry on the work of the farm alone, Elias, who had always hungered for agriculture, was easily persuaded to return to Lexington. After removing to that town he con tinued to go daily to his office in Charlestown, there to carry on an ever-increasing practice of the law, until in 1831 he was appointed Clerk of the Judicial Court for the County of Middlesex. He entered upon his duties June 19, 1831, and from that time until his death faithfully attended the sittings during the sessions of the court and went daily to the Court House in East Cambridge in vacations. Only on Thursdays of those vaca tions was he free to stay at home ; and it is extra ordinary that with such limited opportunity for supervision, with regular duties which often took him from Lexington before daylight and kept him away until after dark, he could have accomplished so much in agriculture.

For, in a day when scientific methods were almost unknown, scientific agriculture became in creasingly Mr. Phinney's avocation. He was for many years a trustee of the State Agricultural Society; he was active in the importation and breeding of Ayrshire cattle; new fruits and vege-

Adventures of an Army Nurse 5

tables, including the tomato, were the subject of his ceaseless experimentation; while the genuine study of fertilizers, of soils, of rotation of crops, of breeding, of grafting, gave him a wide reputation among those to whom farming meant something more than a routine of ploughing, sowing, and reaping. This widely known experimentation, his seven charming daughters (Harvard College was but five miles away), and his abundant hospitality made his house a centre for learned and brilliant men, both old and young. " No man in Massa chusetts," it is declared in a sketch of him, " had so large a circle of friends ; " and this statement, in various phrasing, is the keynote of every no tice which his death called forth. Chief-Justice Shaw, Josiah Quincy, Dr. Warren, Daniel Web ster, Rufus Choate, the Lawrences, were but a few of the host of those who sought and always found a welcome at his house.

His vocation, the law, and his avocation, farm ing, still left him time to take active part in the affairs of Lexington. His name was for many years prominent in the annals of the town; it was he who welcomed Lafayette when that remarkable man came to Lexington ; it was he who presided when, in April, 1835, the bodies of those who had been killed at the Battle of Lexington were re moved from the old cemetery to their present rest-

6 Adventures of an Army Nurse

ing-place and Edward Everett made his famous oration; it was he who, as chairman of a com mittee appointed by the town, took the affidavits of the survivors of the battle, and with those as a basis wrote an authentic and graphic history of that memorable day.

Of a commanding though always courteous bearing, a man of the world and yet intensely devoted to the interests of his adopted town, the enlightened possessor and developer of many fruit ful acres, the dispenser of a hospitality as simple as it was unbounded, Elias Phinney early secured and always retained the rather unusual title of " Squire." To an extraordinary degree he ful filled the English idea of that title, glorifying it, moreover, with the higher ideals of his American environment.

In the summer of 1847 there fell upon him a blow of peculiar sadness. The house in which, with the exception of a few years, he had lived for six decades was destroyed by fire, together with the greater portion of its contents and many of the fine shade-trees which he had taken so much pleasure in planting. Within a few days, how ever, over three thousand dollars to build another house had been subscribed and sent to him, with warmest expressions of sympathy and regard. Chief among these liberal givers were the Law-

Adventures of cm Army Nurse 7

rences, Peter C. Brooks, David Sears, John C. Gray, Dr. Warren, John Welles, Henry Codman, Francis C. Lowell, William P. Mason, Josiah Quincy, and James Vila.

He did not, however, long survive. Hardly had the family moved into their new home, scarcely had he begun to try to repair the rav ages of the flames on his beloved shade-trees, when, on the 24th of July, 1849, Mr. Phinney died in the sixty-ninth year of his age. His widow survived him fourteen years.

Elias and Catherine Phinney had ten children, — seven daughters and three sons. The fifth child and the fourth daughter was Mary, born on the third day of February, 1818. Receiving her earlier schooling at the Franklin — familiarly known as the "Kite End" — district school, Mary later attended the Lexington Academy, and finally was a pupil at Smith's Academy in Waltham. Both these schools had local reputation; and the building occupied by the Lexington Academy was later made famous by the fact that there, in 1839, was established, under the mastership of Cyrus Peirce, the first Normal School in the United States.

Living an active life on a busy and extensive farm, performing necessarily a large share of the labor of the house and the garden, the daughters

8 Adventures of an Army Nurse

of the Phinney household were not infected by the fashion of that time requiring young women to be languishing, pearly-hued, timid, accom plished only in " ladylike " but wholly useless arts. Rather they seem to have anticipated the young women of the present day; for they were active, unaffected, healthy, vigorous, able to turn their hands to any sort of useful labor. Mary, however, was more " emancipated " even than the others. Some years before the day of Mrs. Bloomer, she fashioned for herself out of calico a " bloomer " costume which she wore when at work in the garden. At a time when to be igno rant of nature was thought a sign of good breed ing, she knew every flower and insect of the wood and field; in a generation whose women shud dered at a grasshopper, she used to tame spiders and to give pocket-refuge to toads and snakes; in an age whose pale heroines were occupied mainly in graceful swooning, she acted the nurse and sur geon for every wound in a populous and venture some neighborhood. Farm work, too, had the highest interest for her ; and with perhaps a little, characteristic exaggeration she used to recall the many moonlight evenings on which she helped her father — that being his only leisure time — graft apple-trees until ten o'clock at night. An accom plished needlewoman, as were all the sisters, Mary

Adventures of an Army Nurse 9

had also a marked talent for drawing, the exer cise of which was to prove the real vocation of her life.

The death of Mr. Phinney in 1849 compelled the sale of his farm, and threw those of his daugh ters who were yet unmarried upon their own re sources. Mary, taking advantage of her unusual facility in drawing, sought employment as a de signer of print goods, then an absolutely new career for women. The mills of those days were, however, quite different from the factories of to day. Even the unskilled mill girl then was not in the least akin to those bold and unkempt women, mainly foreigners, who now are seen streaming from the establishments of our great factory towns. What those mill girls were may be understood by a few extracts from Lucy Larcom's "A New Eng land Girlhood." She says: —

" What were we ? Girls who were working in a factory for the time, to be sure ; but none of us had the least idea of continuing at that kind of work permanently. Our composite photograph, had it been taken, would have been the representative New England girlhood of those days. We had all been fairly educated at public or private schools, and many of us were resolutely bent upon obtaining a better education. Very few among us were without some distinct plan for bettering the condition of themselves and those they loved. For the first time, our young

io Adventures of an Army Nurse

women had come forth from their home retirement in a throng, each with her own individual purpose. For twenty years or so, Lowell might have been looked upon as a rather select industrial school for young people. The girls there were just such girls as are knocking at the doors of young women's colleges to-day. They had come to work with their hands, but they could not hinder the working of their minds also. Their mental activity was overflowing at every possible outlet. . . .

" I regard it as one of the privileges of my youth that I was permitted to grow up among those active, interesting girls, whose lives were not mere echoes of other lives, but had principle and purpose distinctly their own. Their vigor of character was a natural development. The New Hampshire girls who came to Lowell were descendants of the sturdy backwoods men who settled that State scarcely a hundred years before. Their grandmothers had suffered the hard ships of frontier life, had known the horrors of savage warfare when the beautiful valleys of the Connecticut and the Merrimack were threaded with Indian trails from Canada to the white settlements. Those young women did justice to their inheritance. They were earnest and capable; ready to undertake anything that was worth doing."

Employed first at Dover, New Hampshire, in the Cocheco Mills, Mary Phinney afterwards went to the Manchester Print Works, at Manchester, New Hampshire. In both cities she made many delightful friendships that were destined to con-

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 1

tinue all her life. Especially in Manchester did she find agreeable associates among the cultivated Germans who, driven from their own country by the pressure following the political revolutions there, had sought refuge in free America, and were putting that extraordinary technical knowl edge in which they have so long led the world to practical use in the rapidly developing manufac tures of New England. Conspicuous in this congenial German-American colony was Gustav, Baron von Olnshausen, or, as he preferred to call himself, Gustav A. Olnhausen.

The von Olnhausen family is of that old " Frei- herr " stock, to belong to which places one, in German eyes, above foreign princes and but little below their own kings. Its unquestioned history runs back for many centuries; and its old castle of Schoenfels, perched high upon the hills over looking Zwickau, Saxony (about sixty miles from Dresden), is surrounded by a moat and is — or at least was — furnished with all the appurtenances of a mediaeval stronghold. Gustav, born about 1810, was the last male, in the direct line, of this old family. Receiving his education at that period, culminating in the revolutions of 1848, when all Germany was in political ferment, he imbibed, and doubtless advocated, democratic ideas that made it wise, if not indeed necessary, for him to live

i 2 Adventures of an Army Nurse

away from his native Saxony. His history before coming to America is not definitely known;1 but it is certain that he resided for some years in Russia, acquiring fluent knowledge of the language of that country, and that he travelled extensively in other lands. In Germany or elsewhere he gained what for those days was an unusual proficiency in the science and art of chemistry. Theodore Parker, who knew him well, declared him to be one of the most learned men that he had ever met. Entirely out of sympathy with the feudal in stitutions and atmosphere of his native country, the income of his estate so reduced by changed commercial conditions as to have necessitated the sale of the old home at Zwickau, his sisters 2 and half-sisters married, Gustav von Olnhausen came finally to America, was doubtless attracted by the other Germans living there to Manchester, New Hampshire, and found employment, as chemist, in the dye-houses of the Manchester Mills. In that city he met Mary Phinney, loved her, and soon found that she too loved him. Most worthy, too, of her affection he must have been. Learned in language, in literature, in science, he was never-

1 See Appendix A.

2 One of these sisters married a von Roemer, and another a von Rohrscheidt. As will appear later, their brother's widow visited these ladies (themselves then widowed) after the Franco-Prussian War, spending with them and with others of her husband's relatives two of the most delightful years of her life.

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 3

theless as unassuming as a little child; brought up in the formal etiquette of a German provincial town, he was as simple and unconventional as was Miss Phinney, herself a rebel against the restric tions placed about the women of her day ; a mem ber of an aristocracy that still believes in the divine right of kings and nobles, he was a demo crat of the sturdiest, most thoroughgoing sort. All these qualities appealed to her as did her free, vigorous womanhood to him; and their engage ment seems to have been a foregone conclusion long before it became an actual fact.

The economic value of technically trained men was, however, then so little recognized, the panic of 1857 had so hampered business and manufac turing, that Mr. von Olnhausen's salary seems to have been very small. Not until more than a year after their engagement, therefore, did he find him self financially able to marry; and, after mar riage, their housekeeping was of a most modest sort. A little house filled with flowers, ferneries, aquaria (for they were alike in their love of na ture), and peopled with birds, lizards, and even tamed toads, was the centre of their happiness; their chief pleasure, beyond that of their perfectly sympathetic life together, being found in their work, in holiday walks through the woods, and in picnics and little impromptu parties with their

1 4 Adventures of an Army Nurse

many friends. That simple way of enjoying life which the Germans have learned and which we Americans have not, was as congenial to Mary von Olnhausen as it was to her husband; and her brief years of marriage were undoubtedly the happiest of all her life. The only interruption of their gentle tranquillity was in her occasional visits to Lexington and to Watertown, where she had relatives and friends.

A glimpse of this happy time is given in the following letters of Mr. von Olnhausen' s, the first two written before their marriage, the third after that fortunate event.

Wednesday evening.

MY OWN DEAR MOLLY, — Instead of the intended company, I am writing you, and I really enjoy it much better. K. is sick since a few days and so I better postponed the assembly, but anyhow I shall have it sometimes this week for celebrating the merry Christmas. I liked this feast so much as child and old remembrances let me like it now yet. I should like we could it pass sometimes in Germany — they think so much about it there — it 's principally a merry time for the children, but old people enjoy it just as much. We shall pass much happier the next than this one — my dear girl — at least I, and any where we shall be. I shall quite arrange it in german fashion. I remember home so often this evening, for it 's the time when every one is quite busy in the prep arations — and quite happy already in its expectations

Adventures of an Army Nurse i 5

— a quite pleasant evening. The Ladies whirling round yet in the full pride of domestic activeness and making use of all sciences for producing delicacise and dainties, such as never are seen in the whole other part of the year; red the lively faces from excitement and kitchen-heat, they distribute a few small specimens of their artfulness, just to hear praised themselves and to be fervently asked for a few more : — the Gentlemen in the mean time are preparing the Christmastree, gilding nuts and apples, fixing the wax-candles and fastening threads round all the stars and candies and sugar-figures, destined for swinging between the branches of the enchanted tree. The children are already sent to bed, full of the expectation of the coming day — all have been during the last weeks the best children of the world, afraid to loose by disobedience love and presents of the little Christ and just as anxious about it as I am about your love.

What a nice present I shall give you next year my sweet child, when you have been good, and have I been so, I am sure, you will recompense me and be it only by a kiss. Are we not both like children yet

— why should we not remain so our whole life? Children only, it is said, go to heaven — but also here on earth — we shall not be childish but the more childrenlike the happier we are.

PISCATOQUAW VALLEY.

MY DEAR MOLLY, — May it be made known to my Queen, that I just am feeling myself in a state of mind and body, as no other King of earth can feel better — provided he is a bachelor. My throne I rest

1 6 Adventures of an Army Nurse

upon is glittering from mica and garnets, green moss is spread round and like a beautiful carpet widely but tastefully embroidered with mayflowers, cheering at once the eyes and the (how prosaicly nose sounds) odoriferous sense. It is true the banquet, just fin ished, consisted only in sausage and crackers, but the appetite makes the meal and not the dishes. Just beside me a small brook offers me its cool and clear water for refreshment, and is murmuring to me so many confuse and strange stories like from the fairy land. The song of hundreds of frogs will not har monize well with the dreams of the brook, but they are in a proper distance, — distance improves every thing — and you are in my mind so near associated with them, so that I don't hear exactly your voice, your dear voice, amongst them — no — but that I really imagine I hear them call your name.

I wonder if you knew that we have Fastday today and came to take the walk with me. I cannot thank heaven enough for sending us such a beautiful day — for it should be really hard to spend such an excited day in town. My principal aim today is less natural history than walking, for I feel how much I need it after that frightful weather. But anyhow besides some bugs and beetles I got a green snake, I am very glad of for trying my Alcohol substitute in respect of the change of the color, and — an old, of course — but entirely new birdsnest entirely made from lichens, I never have seen before. Now I am sitting between Manchester and Goffstown, where I came partly on the railroad, partly along the right bank of the Squaw R. — and can probably not be far from Goffs town. I cannot find any bridge over that little river

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 7

— to go the same road back is too tiresome and prob ably not much shorter — en avant — courage then

— soon more from my headquarters. ( Friday morn ing.) The poor king of the day in what a helpless condition he came home in the evening! What a humiliating lesson for his pride! But why? Kings can be tired like other people and sooner yet. With out a strengthening glass of cyder in the Amoskeag Hotel I don't know if I ever should have reached home. And then at home how delicious the tea, how savory the boiled potatoes, and for dessert an orange

— and the King was King again !

Sunday evening.

MY DEAR WIFE, — The day passed better than I expected ; — when you stay much longer, I shall quite fall back in my old bachelor's habits and faults. I staid at home till 3 p. M. in the highest enjoyment an Italian thinks life can offer, in a dolce far niente, just to do what you like and should it be nothing. There was quite a summer heat a la Molly, — and I found only a little consolation in the thought, that I am sure, you are at least comfortable, one of the " perhaps few " mortal souls who could be so in that foretaste of hell or purgatory where the Catholics think we must all come to. At 3 Mr. M. came to fetch me for a walk and we fetched O. and out we went and had a hard work through fields and woods. We had a really first rate supper at O.'s — Dandelion's Salad and ham and potatoes and tea and sour cyder. Be glad that you are not here today (Monday) for of course, I am cross like a crow. It 's only 5 A. M. and I am already writing you, but of course, having ne glected my duty, not to have written you yesterday,

1 8 Adventures of an Army Nurse

how could I have slept longer ! I wonder that I could sleep at all and more so that I slept as sound as I did.

I was really unhappy Saturday night coming 2 minutes too late to the Postoffice, but I got your letter just now. I am mad — like — like — I don't know anything what can be so mad — so there is now an inkspot on the clean table (it is yours), but what do I care. I am mad and will not write a single letter more — " instead Wednesday you come only Thursday/' I know, I shall see you no more this week ; your next letter will add again a day more and so on. I unfortunate, stupid and most enamoured of all husbands. When my rage has subsided, perhaps tomorrow — perhaps today already, more! I will not say " stay as long as you will " for you might really be capable to stay till to the world's end. When you love me you come soon.

Mad! That . . . cyder and your letter — you shall not have an aquarium, you don't deserve it, you don't love me; but anyhow I will be true and will love you as I have done from now till in all eternity, Amen. You see, better feelings overcome already my madness; but I will not be good today, and I shall let whither all the fine bouquets I have decorated the room with, and shoot the blinds and let not light and sun in and go to bed — no — to work. Do the same and be a good girl (perhaps anyhow I build you an aquarium) and remember and love your

loving

GUSTAV.

They were married on May Day, 1858, by Theodore Parker. Within little more than two

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 9

years, Mr. von Olnhausen developed a serious organic disease from which relief had finally to be sought through a surgical operation.1 For this he went to the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. The operation was successful; but, other complications arising, it was impossible for the patient to rally; and he died after several weeks of pain, borne with much fortitude, on the seventh of September, 1860.

To remain single until one's fortieth year; then to love and to be loved with the ardor and simpli city of youth ; and, in the third year of marriage, to lose one's husband was, of course, a crucial experience. It might have made a less active and unselfish nature hard, brooding, hopeless, and em bittered. With Mary von Olnhausen this tremen dous experience proved to be really the beginning of her life. That love which might have been given, had he lived, solely to her husband, was to be expended during the coming years for others ; that activity which might have been limited to the little house in Manchester was to find con spicuous satisfaction on both sides of the world.

1 See Appendix B.

W

CHAPTER II

ITHIN two months after the death of Mr. von Olnhausen, his widow had de termined to begin her work for others by going to the help of her younger brother and his invalid wife, in Illinois. This brother, George, as enamoured as was his father of agriculture, had been tempted by the wonderful fertility of the middle West to leave the rocky hillsides of New England for those vast prairies whose virgin soil was as rich as it was easy of cultivation. The life of the pioneer, however, is never comfortable; limited capital and remoteness from markets made the working of the Illinois farmland unusually difficult and uncertain; drought and destructive insects often played havoc with the crops; and, worst of all, the hard life and the malarial atmos phere distressingly, and at last fatally, affected the wife's health. With four little children, and with their mother almost incapacitated by hardship and by ague, the brother was certainly in great need of such help as his sister Mary could give; and she did not hesitate to take what was then a serious

Adventures of an Army Nurse 2 1

journey, and to place herself in conditions which she knew to be both difficult and disagreeable. In the following extracts from that autobiography, which, at the earnest wish of her friends, she began several years before her death, she gives a vivid impression of her arrival on the prairie, and of some of the incidents of her life there.

[Frotn the Autobiography.]

A six hours' ride over the prairie with just enough snow to limit the landscape and not enough to hide the deep black mud which seemed to swallow the struggling oxen and horses, made one glad that the next station was the end of this tiresome journey. I did not know what desola tion was until I came in sight of that station, — a barn-like structure, with one single house as com panion, planted in the everlasting mud. I could not believe it was the right place, especially as no carriage was waiting and no soul was visible but the station-master, who led me into a barren room and bade me sit until my brother should appear. The windows were curtained with dust, the fire nearly out, and the chair hard and uncomfortable. After a dreary wait, a wagon came in sight, — a long, low wagon without springs drawn by a sorry pair of mules, the driver sitting in a rush-bottomed chair. This proved to be my brother and the ex-

22 Adventures of an Army Nurse

pected " carriage." After shaking off the snow and greeting me warmly, he put the trunks on the wagon, sat on one of them, and gave me the chair. Starting off at the slowest imaginable pace, I soon made acquaintance with a slough, a ditch of mud, that might some time have been a bottom less stream, so wide and deep that it seemed im possible ever to reach the other side. Not a house was in sight, — and indeed one could not see, the snow became so thick, and we rode and rode as if it would never end. The great sorrow I had left behind came back with twofold force, and the desolation of that dismal prairie hidden by falling snow was more than I could bear.

At last we came to a little house standing upon four posts, with free play for the winds beneath. At its open door were clustered three or four chil dren eagerly looking for the new friend. But how to get to those expectant faces, with just a very slanting board leading up to them? Outstretched hands, however, helped me up the slippery plank, a warm welcome and a cup of hot tea soon comforted one, and the children were pretty and good ; so I became able to answer eager questions and to talk of the delicious things in store for them in the morning, when the boxes and trunks should be opened. I had so much to relate that it was late when we went to bed, which involved

Adventures of an Army Nurse 23

taking a now sleeping child under one's arm, scrambling up a ladder, and crawling through a hole into the only other room of the house. In this attic-room, with only a quilt dividing it, all the household, except the hired man, slept.

The morning waking was cold and forlorn enough; the house being neither plastered nor shingled, every breath of wind swept through it. The well had been dry for weeks, so all had to be set at work to melt snow. The wife was too feeble, from a long " spell " of chills, to do any work, so it all fell to me, and it seemed like one of those tasks set by cruel masters in fairy books. A grand dinner was improvised for the day, but the morrow was to be the sacred feast of Thanksgiving. I had timed my visit for this special occasion. As soon as we had dined, the boy, six years old, was put upon one of the mules, and was sent, with true Western hospitality, to invite the only neighbors with whom they " vis ited " to the coming feast, and we all began the preparations. The pudding and pies were all from home and had only to be heated; but that turkey was of wonderful size and needed much work to make it ready for the oven.

The next morning was sunny and delightful. At ten o'clock the neighbor's wagon appeared, — a wagon with springs and drawn by quite swift

24 Adventures of an Army Nurse

horses. It was considered a wonderful turnout. This neighbor's family consisted of father, mother, two boys, and the wife's brother; they were people who had lived in a town, knew what good things were, and proved pleasant and intelligent. The men, in Western fashion, sat with chairs tipped back against the wall, the children rushed up and down the ladder, making all the noise they could, so one can imagine what that room was with seven grown people and six children and the mud and steam and odors from the stove. But to see the enjoyment of them all when the dinner was served was a real pleasure. This was an unheard- of day on the prairie and was long talked of.

When the spring began to come all was changed ; the wonderful sounds were enchanting and so new to me. The wild geese and ducks passing overhead from morning till night, the crows trum peting, the prairie chickens calling their mates, and the variety of beautiful flowers, — all made the prairie seem like paradise. One could see seven miles, both east and west, to where the " timber " grew, and only' three houses in all that wide extent.

One morning, just as we were breakfasting with some friends who had come to pass the night, a man rode up to the door in great haste, saying, " Mr. Phinney, what ails your corn-patch ? "

Adventures of an Army Nurse 25

" Nothing, only that I have the best stand of corn in the country." " Well, go look at it now." My brother went out without hat or breakfast, for it was a long distance to the corn-patch, and we went up to the chamber window. The whole land as far as we could see was bare, — not a green thing. Then, of course, we rushed out, and such a sight! The ground was covered with a mov ing mass of worms several inches deep, one layer crawling over another. George said it was the army worm, of which there was some tradition, though no one had ever seen it there. George rushed, got the mules out, and ploughed a deep trench at the edge of the field, for they were making for his wheat field. Then he fastened a log to a horse and all day long a boy rode back and forth crushing the worms as they fell into the ditch. For a few hours in the night they stopped ; but at break of day they started again and the log was once more put in motion. By this means the wheat and vegetables were saved. I shall never forget the discouragement on George's face as he saw all his spring work destroyed and with it his hopes of paying for his farm.

My cousin, Dr. B., who was staying with us, said to me, "Will you help me plant it over?" Of course I was glad to do anything; so though George said it was no use, fresh corn was shelled

26 Adventures of an Army Nurse

and the old corn-planter put in order. This was a very clumsy affair, one of the earliest made. It had a button on the wheels, and whenever that turned up a lever was pulled out, and the corn dropped. One can think how monotonous it was to sit all day watching the wheels and jigging this lever. Up high at the back sat the driver, who was not very expert, howling at the mules. They, never very swift, were now intolerably slow; so it took much " dog-gorning " and much " hickory ing " to make them get up, and the re sulting noise was deafening. The sun was never so hot and the dust never so unbearable. These were the longest days I ever passed; but at last it was finished and the eighty devoured acres were planted again. George said it was useless work, — everybody's corn was a foot high or more, no corn could ripen after the tenth of June; but we had hopes, and, sure enough, he never had a better or a bigger crop. One day we took a drive across the railroad and there AVC saw everywhere the effects of the army worm. Luckily it appears only at long intervals.

On the prairie every one had so many dogs that it was a marvel how they were fed, or, indeed, how they lived. They ate even the corn from the cob, and stole anything that was not under lock. One day when all the men had gone to a neighbor-

Adventures of an Army Nurse 27

ing town to haul corn, we heard a great barking, and the boys rushed in to tell us that the dogs were after one of the recently bought pigs, the first that we had had. When we arrived on the scene they had tasted blood and it was all up with that pig. His ears were off, and he was bitten in many places. I rushed for the butcher-knife, for we all wanted fresh meat even more than the dogs did; and if the pig must be eaten, C. and I thought it best for us to have the benefit. So we set the boys to beat off the dogs, and the eldest helped to hold the pig while we stabbed him, vainly try ing to hit a vital spot. At last the animal gave up, and C., in the mean time, having heated water, we dragged him to a board and commenced the dreadful job of getting off the hair. Having only seen it done, we made not the neatest work of it. All the while the fight between the boys and the dogs, occasionally helped with a dash of water, was going on. The combined efforts of all were needed to mount that slippery plank and get the pig under cover from the dogs. When George returned, his indignation at seeing one of his pet pigs lying on that floor was strange to see; but when he learned the truth he sat down beside the departed beast and laughed till we thought he would never end.

One night the doctor was called to a neighbor's

28 Adventures of an Army Nurse

where the woman was " very bad," the girl who brought the message said. In the morning he asked me to go to see her; so I mounted behind him on the mare, and, though the mud was so deep that I thought it impossible to get there, we at last arrived. The cabin contained only one room; in it were two beds and two trundle-beds; eight children were sitting around a stove burn ing the hoof off of some pig's-feet, and the room, of course, was filled with their vile odor. The mother lay on the bed, clad in a prairie sunbonnet and a calico wrapper; beside her lay a little, red baby with a piece of fat bacon in its mouth. This was always the manner of treating babies there, she told me. She had a very long hickory stick beside her, and when the children quarrelled she brought it down on them with, "You Mary Ann," or, " You Susan Jane," reducing them to order at once. I asked her to take off her bonnet, but she said that if she did it would give her rheumatism in her head. She never took it off except when eating. Whatever else a prairie woman or child lacks in costume it is never a sunbonnet. When I came to know this woman better I found her to be one of the finest nature. She was a " poor white " from Virginia ; but she was so true in all her relations in life, so generous, and always seek ing to do a kindness.

Adventures of an Army Nurse 29

At this time the news was most discouraging, the papers full of rumors of war, and so many people about us poor whites from the South, nearly all of them being Rebels, that it was anything but cheerful. The post-office was four miles away; and often many days went by without letters or papers; and now and then such appalling news came that I wonder we could enjoy anything. Soon the rumors of war were confirmed with the news of Fort Sumter and the terrible affair of Bull Run. I immediately wrote to all the people of influence I knew, begging them to procure me some place in the war as nurse, or whatever I could do. Then I waited and waited for a year before I could learn how to get a position; for down there no one seemed to know how to do anything. Finally I determined to go back to Massachusetts and find some way to work for the soldiers. That year of waiting is as a blank to me; we heard nothing but discouraging rumors, and were all so poor. The crops were good enough, but there was no way to get them to market, for the railroad was in the possession of the military. We had two years' crop on hand, and most of the cattle died; so we burned corn all that winter. It seemed so wicked. When I started for the East I for the first time realized the war in seeing regiments departing from every

30 Adventures of an Army Nurse

city, and in finding it almost impossible to get anywhere.

Arrived in Boston, I appealed immediately to Miss Dix, who promised to place me at once, but who delayed so long that I was beginning to doubt her, when the summons came to start for Washington. This was on Saturday, and Monday night I must leave; so everybody helped, and I was at the station in time to join my escort. This was in August of 1862.

CHAPTER III

MARY VON OLNHAUSEN'S recollec tions of the Civil War are contained in the Autobiography before referred to and in letters written to her relatives at home. The first is fragmentary, far from consecutive, and, as would be inevitable, frequently in disagree ment with the letters. Those, on the other hand, are seldom dated; and many pages from them, as well as many entire letters, are wanting. There fore the narrative is not always unbroken, and the story frequently lacks those salient features which letters written with an eye to publication would have been almost certain to possess. To see the Civil War from the comparatively new point of view of these unstudied sketches is, how ever, in itself interesting. To read through these artless pictures the strong, unselfish character of a noble woman is doubly worth while.

A few pages from the Autobiography will serve, by their conciseness, as a sort of preface to the more detailed letters which are then to follow.

32 Adventures of an Army Nurse

[From the Autobiography.]

Miss Dix, who had been appointed by the President head of the army nurses, took me from Washington to Alexandria to the Mansion House Hospital. She told me on the journey that the surgeon in charge was determined to give her no foothold in any hospital where he reigned, and that I was to take no notice of anything that might occur, and was to make no complaint what ever might happen. She was a stern woman of few words.

There seemed to be much confusion about the Mansion House — which before the war was a famous hotel — and every part of it was crowded. She left me in the office and went in search of Dr. S. The sight of the wounded continuously carried through on stretchers, or led in as they arrived from the boats that lay at the foot of the street on which the hospital stood (this was just after that awful Cedar Mountain battle [August 9] ) , seemed more than I could bear, and I thought Miss Dix would never come. At last she appeared, with Dr. S., who eyed me keenly and, it seemed to me, very savagely, and gave me in charge of an orderly to show me to the surgical ward, as it was called. It consisted of many small rooms, with a broad corridor, every room so full of cots that it was only barely possible to pass between

Adventures of an Army Nurse 3 3

them. Such a sorrowful sight; the men had just been taken off the battle-field, some of them had been lying three or four days almost without clothing, their wounds never dressed, so dirty and wretched. Some one gave me my charges as to what I was to do; it seemed such a hopeless task to do anything to help them that I wanted to throw myself down and give it up. Miss Dix left me, and soon the doctors came and ordered me to follow them while they examined and dressed the wounds. They seemed to me then, and after wards I found they were, the most brutal men I ever saw. They were both volunteers, and one was a converted Jew who was constantly pro claiming it.

So I began my work, I might say night and day. The surgeon told me he had no room for me, and a nurse told me he said he would make the house so hot for me I would not stay long. When I told Miss Dix I could not remain with out a room to sleep in, she, knowing the plan of driving me out, said, " My child " (I was as nearly as old as herself), "you will stay where I have placed you." In the mean time McClellan's army was being landed below us from the Peninsula. Night and day the rumbling of heavy cannon, the marching of soldiers, the groaning of the sick and wounded were constantly heard; and yet in

3

34 Adventures of an Army Nurse

all that time I never once looked from the win dows, I was so busy with the men.

One of the rooms of the ward was the operat ing-room, and the passing in and out of those who were to be operated upon, and the coming and going of surgeons added so much to the gen eral confusion. I doubt if at any time during the war there was ever such confusion as at this time. The insufficient help, the unskilful sur geons, and a general want of organization were very distressing; but I was too busy then and too tired for want of proper sleep to half realize it. Though I slept at the bedsides of the men or in a corner of the rooms, I was afraid to com plain lest I be discharged. I was -horribly igno rant, of course, and could only try to make the men comfortable; but the staff doctors were very friendly and occasionally helped me, and some one occasionally showed me about bandaging, so by degrees I began to do better. The worst doctor had been discharged, much to my joy, but the other one, despite his drinking habits, stayed on. After the morning visit it was no use calling upon him for anything, and I had to rely on the officer of the day if I needed help. I know now that many a life could have been saved if there had been a competent surgeon in the ward.

At this time the ward was full of very sick

Adventures of an Army Nurse 35

men and sometimes two would be dying -at the same time, and both begging me to stay with them, so I got little sleep or rest. Moreover, I had no room of my own. Occasionally a nurse would extend the hospitality of the floor in hers, and I would have a straw bed dragged in on which to get a few hours' sleep. This, with a hurried bath and fresh clothes, was my only rest for weeks. It was no use to complain. The sur geon simply stormed at me and said there was no room ; while Miss Dix would say, " You can bear it awhile, my child; I have placed you here and you must stay." I was at that time her only nurse in the Mansion House. Later she suc ceeded in getting rid of all the others and replacing them with her own.

From the first letter, written from Washington, it would appear that Miss Dix had intended to take this new nurse to Culpeper (to which General Banks' corps fell back after Cedar Mountain). Some change of plan, however, led to her going, instead, to the Mansion House Hospital at Alex andria. There she remained until forced, in July, 1863, by a severe attack of dysentery, to ask for a furlough and to seek recuperation with her sis ters in Lexington.

36 Adventures of an Army Nurse

WASHINGTON, August, 1862.

I have just arrived and do not know when I can write again. Miss Dix has just had a tele gram that four hundred men lie at Culpeper with wounds undressed and everything waiting. She goes herself and takes me, so already the work has begun. Miss Dix is n't one bit of a dragon or griffin to me. She received me sweetly and right off asked me to go with her. Help me with your prayers and good wishes. I shall try my best to make you feel I 'm not sent in vain.

The following record of the first six or seven weeks of her experience gives but a faint idea of what Mary von Olnhausen encountered in that eventful time. With no experience of serious wounds and with no knowledge of nursing be yond what she had gained in her ministrations to those among her family and friends who had been ill, she was plunged, without preface, into a crowded hospital during one of the bloodiest campaigns of the Civil War. When she arrived at the Mansion House, she had to make her way through a double procession, one of seriously wounded men being taken in, the other of dead being carried out. With no easy and gradual preparation, but on that very night, she was called upon to assist at capital operations per-

Adventures of an Army Nurse 37

formed with little or no anaesthetic, by surgeons who, naturally brutal, had been made doubly so by the hurry of overwork and the magnitude of their seemingly endless task. The operating-room was literally a sea of blood, and its operators had become little better than butchers.

To conditions so adverse were added a hostile atmosphere and a disorganized service, or, rather, a service that had never yet been organized. To those who know or remember only the splendid results of the war and the nobility of self-sacrifice which made these results possible, it is difficult to believe how rankly political corruption, favoritism, and jobbery flourished in the Civil War, above all in the years of its beginning. This hospital espe cially, in the outskirts of Washington where had gathered all the harpies and vultures of the politi cal camp, was at that time filled with political henchmen and their satellites, more eager for profit than for the binding up of wounds. Superadded to this corruption was the inevitable disorder and inefficiency inseparable from the organizing of a conflict so stupendous by a country unused to war. And this unorganized, this overworked, this more or less corrupt hospital staff was a unit in only one direction, — that of hatred towards women nurses and of determination to " make it so hot " for them as to render it impossible for them to

38 Adventures of an Army Nurse

remain. To learn the profession of nursing, to bring order out of chaos, to overcome the unrea sonable prejudice of men brutalized by the horrors of a crude and hurried surgery was the task that Mary von Olnhausen had before her; and one can easily accept her apologies for writing this "growling" (as she calls it) letter.

September 21, 1862, Sunday afternoon.

At last I have a few moments that are really my own and a room, too, to sit in that is really mine, and I 'm so glad to be alone and writing you. I have been so happy to get your two let ters telling me about you all and especially about that box ; — you can have no possible idea of the good it will do. I know what all the Sanitary committees in the North have done and how much they think the poor soldiers are comforted ; but I can assure you that in the way of delicacies they get mighty little, — none in fact, — and, so far, not even good, nourishing food. As I told the Inspector General a few days since, both in qual ity and quantity it is intolerable. While they are feeding a thousand outsiders (which was the case during the passing through of the troops and the coming of the wounded), it was excusable; but at no other time. The day before he came bean soup was sent up so salt that no one could swal-

Adventures of an Army Nurse 39

low a second spoonful ; the beef tea was in the same state; and the beans were so hard that all would have had cholera morbus if they could have eaten them.

Moreover, the cooks are so overbearing that it is like begging for life to get a thing for the really sick ones who cannot eat common diet. Yet the nurses are obliged to do all extra cooking and are not allowed the use of anything but tin cups or plates; and if we ask for spoon or knife or milk or eggs, you better hear the fuss ! The kitchen is a perfect Babel at meal-times, and, rather than en counter the noise, every day I buy eggs and milk, in fact almost every nice thing for the sick ones. I know I have a right to them here ; but I 've learned enough to know that all who make com plaints to headquarters are not only unpopular there but are pitched into by all the house; so I just speak to nobody, get what I can, and buy the rest. Sometimes I can make eyes at the ice-box man and he '11 give me a bit of chicken and mut ton ; but he is n't always to be melted any more than his ice, though he is the only one who really seems to work for the soldiers. He 's quite a char acter, and is the only man from Dr. S. down who does n't swear. I 'm so disgusted with this last that I think nothing is to be so longed for as to be delivered from swearing, — it 's worse than

i

40 Adventures of an Army Nurse

temptation. Now you '11 thmk I am writing a real growling letter; but I know you want to know all, and Mrs. J.'s remarks that we live so fine are utterly groundless. Her husband laughed well at them.

Our bill-of-fare has been unvaried from the time we came till now (I mean at the nurses' table) ; almost always sour bread, and always the worst possible butter, and coffee that can be imag ined (I am speaking of breakfast), with sometimes a bit of tough, overdone steak, often no milk, and sometimes no butter. At dinner invariably worse beef, very much done, sometimes potatoes and sometimes not, and once in a while sweet pota toes, which, you know, I hate (but I always claim my share, as I can take it to some poor fellow in my ward), together with, about once a week, a small piece of pie. Twice we have had a change of baked salt pork instead of beef. For supper there are always the same sour bread and butter and such tea; — and this is all. To-day I went out and begged a little mutton soup. The cook gave me some, growling, and said it was only made for the sick. When I tasted it I thought it was too poor for the well. They say we are going to have a grand reform, that at Washington there is to be a bill-of-fare issued and strictly enforced.

Then what we eat is as nothing to how we eat.

Adventures of an Army Nurse 41

We eat with all the cooks and kitchen attendants, and to appreciate them you must once see and hear them. Sometimes I think I cannot bear it another hour, that I'll just leave here; but when I see these miserable nurses and more miserable attend ants who are here merely for the poor pay, I think it cruel to go, for, if anywhere, I can do some good here; these poor fellows have at least some one to help them. All about the house say I 'm so proud, and I always intend to be; but in my ward the sick men do not think so, and the bless ings and thanks I get from them are all I care for. They, every one, seem as fond of me as if I belonged to them, and I wish you could hear them talk as I sit by their dying beds.

Every man except one has died so happy ; 1 and he, poor fellow, was so afraid he would die that at last he frightened himself into it. He was a young sergeant from Ohio, only nineteen, and it

1 \From the Autobiography^

Some one once wrote to me to tell her of the different death-beds I had witnessed, especially of the death-bed repentances. I can only say that, with the exception of two, none of all my men was afraid to die. I don't remember one who ever expressed repent ance ; many wished to live, but all seemed to die without fear of the future. The saddest thing about a death in the hospital is the immediate removal of the body. The attendants come with the white sheet which so closely enfolds them, they are silently taken to the dead-house, and the work goes on as if they had never been. Next morning the empty bed, fresh for another patient, is the only reminder of the past night.

42 Adventures of an Army Nurse

was so pitiful to see him; but, mercifully, he was unconscious for some hours before his death. His father wrote me such a sorrowful letter. One man sent for me in the middle of the night to come and make his will. He took the ring from his finger for his sister, and his watch and money and notes, and had three other patients witness it. He read it aloud to them in such a clear, loud voice, and pretty soon he died. I read the Bible to him, and he prayed so good; he said he was glad to die, for he never could pray before and his sister wanted him so much to be a Christian.

The poor little boy that I told you had lockjaw died such an awful death. He dictated a pretty boy letter to his mother, — it would have gone right to your heart. He said : " You told me, mother dear, I 'd either come home a cripple or dead ; but, mother, I could n't stay home and see all those noble boys go away to be shot and me staying home and not helping too; but I killed the Rebel who shot me, so he can't kill another boy. He came around the tree after I fell and then I took good aim and killed him." He was such a dear little country boy, so good and natural ; he said : " I 'd like to live real well, but then if I can't, I '11 try to die and not make any more fuss than I can help ; " but, poor fellow, he could n't help it. He was n't seventeen. Colonel Hildreth,

Adventures of an Army Nurse 43

the man who exposed the swill milk, brought him from the field l after he had lain there four or five days. He took an ambulance and himself alone drove through all and brought back a load of them.

Did not our government do shamefully to let so many lie there and die? I am so indignant I can't hear of it. It was shameful, and here these surgeons from Boston did all they could to get leave to go to the field, and were denied. It was too awful; you can't realize it unless you were here to see them, as I have, brought in after such suffering. One old Scotchman in my ward lay six days and seven nights, and had only water that the Rebels would now and then give him, and nothing to eat all that time. Yesterday symp toms of lockjaw appeared, and he will soon die of it.

But now comes one of my great troubles; — you know I was placed in a ward that had no female nurse for a long time, and only a horrid, wicked man for a ward master. He treated the patients too cruelly; first thing I did was to have him sent to his regiment, — it 's so painful to know there are such bad men for soldiers. The ward was dirtier than you can know, and not one decent attendant, though the largest ward in the

1 Probably that of the second Bull Run.

44 Adventures of an Army Nurse

house. I 've told you how I worked ; all the sick est I had charge of. About four weeks ago came a nurse who said she had been in the Crimea, — at any rate she was English and had been four teen years in hospitals. They gave her a back, upstairs ward. She, of course, knows about ban daging and all that; but, like all old hospital nurses, is no nurse otherwise. She is the one I had to room with. I almost preferred no bed, as at first; but I would not say one word, it seems so selfish to complain here. Last week, just as I was congratulating myself how well all went and that the wards were so clean and orderly, up came Dr. S. and thundered out : " Madam, I intend to remove you; I intend Mrs. R. to have this ward; this is the most important one in the house and I consider her the most splendid nurse in the coun try; and, by , those are the kind of women

I intend to fill this house with."

You may judge how bad I felt to leave those men I had had right from the field, and they so fond of me and good; they felt just as bad as I did. It was sweet to hear so many " God bless you's " and assurances that I had saved their lives. I really believe them, for the doctor of the ward was the most negligent, disagreeable, swearing man I ever met, and left everything to me. Just as I was departing we heard a fearful noise in the

Adventures of an Army Nurse 45

entry, and along was dragged my lady, by two officers, dead drunk and swearing like a trooper. So that 's the way she took possession of her new ward! I think my exit was better than her en trance. This, of course, made the poor fellows feel ten times worse; and whenever I slip in to see them now there are many tearful eyes, and they beg me so to come back. You see I did everything for them, — cooked them good things, watched with them nights whenever they needed me, and never left my ward except to eat or sleep ; and they (a sister of hers has come to help her, and they are both of a piece) are never there, — just go over the wounds once or twice a day and do nothing more. I acknowledge their superior ity in bandaging; but even there I am getting even with them; already the surgeon-general has praised mine. My new place can't interest me like the old one. I try to do for all alike, but my heart is there most of the time. You may think it strange that I do not leave such a house; but I talked with the Chaplain,1 who is a Massachusetts

1 [From the Autobiography.']

I must speak at this time of our Chaplain [Rev. Henry Hop kins, now President of Williams College]. Without him I think I could not have gone through the trials I had to bear. Without exception he was the truest friend and Christian and the bravest man I ever knew. Night and day he was ready and willing to attend the men, listen to their complaints, write their letters, and comfort them in their last hours. Many a sorrowing one at home

46 Adventures of an Army Nurse

man and such a Christian, and he begs me to stay here, says I must remember I came for the sol diers, not myself, and here I can do more good than anywhere else.

In the next letter reference is made to Lexing ton as a source of supply for the Hospital. This

must have been comforted by his words written from these death beds. He had a terrible experience at the second Bull Run battle field, where our men lay for many days without food or water, the ground being in the hands of the enemy. After long pleading, the authorities gave him a pass and ambulance to go through the lines, but he had neither escort nor surgeon. He started at nine o'clock at night with, I think, twenty ambulances. It was raining hard, the roads over which the army had so recently passed were in a fright ful state, and he had to go on horseback the distance of fifty miles. It was almost impossible to keep the train together, many of the drivers were drunk, and some would fall asleep, letting their horses stop and blocking those behind. So he must ride backward and forward the whole night. In the early morning he arrived, and what a sight of sorrow met him ! Of course all the rebels, both wounded and dead, had been removed ; but our men lay as they had fallen, days before. He began his search, and this, he said, was the hardest task of his life, to decide whom to leave and whom to bring away. Of course he could bring only those able to bear such a journey. The others must be left. Think what a situation for them and himself, every one begging so to be taken ! The men worked well in loading the wagons, for they were anxious to get home, hav ing had nothing to eat, since everything the Chaplain had with him was distributed among those he must leave behind. After praying with the poor fellows, he started on his weary journey back. All that day he rode backward and forward, hearing only the groans of the wounded and the oaths of the drivers, and did not arrive at the hospital again until nine o'clock at night. I shall never forget his weary face. The poor fellows he brought needed every comfort, and nearly all the night was passed in caring for them.

Adventures of an Army Nurse 47

is a good place, therefore, to insert those extracts from the Autobiography which bear upon the work of the devoted women of that town.1 Their ceaseless labors and unstinted generosity enabled Mrs. von Olnhausen to do much for her soldiers that otherwise would have been impossible; and she never failed to give those ladies full credit for their share in her work. Indeed, so generous was her nature, that she perhaps assigned to them a larger measure of credit than they would have cared to claim. She, to whom most of the prod uct of their busy hands went, says of them : —

[From the Autobiography^

I had constantly been receiving comforts of all kinds for the sick and wounded in my care from my kind friends at home. These I had always kept in my own room (now I had one), giving them, when needed, to the sick in other wards as well as to those in my own. One day the head surgeon sent for me, and said he heard I was in the habit of receiving such things, and that he had determined in future to have all such boxes sent to the dispensary and distributed from there. Therefore all such things as I had in my posses sion must be sent there at once. I told him all I

1 An interesting account of the work of these active women is given by Miss Hudson in the "Proceedings of the Lexington Historical Society," VoL II. p. 197.

48 Adventures of an Army Nurse

had came from my personal friends in Lexington, and sooner than have them given to his drunken dispensary clerks to be eaten and drank and used by them, I would throw them out upon the pave ment. He said the complaint was constantly made that my men were better served and cared for, and petitions were constantly made to be admitted there on that account. I assured him that I al ways divided with all who really needed them. Then he told me there was an order addressed to me for a number of barrels of apples lying at the wharf, that they were needed for the hospital, and that I must give an order for them to be sent to him at once. " No," I said, " those are for my self, and I shall send them back unless I can do with them what I choose." So I bade him adieu and flew back to my room, expecting every mo ment some new development.

Soon came another summons to the office. He asked if I had changed my mind, as an order had come that the apples must be at once sent for. I told him " No." " Well, what will you do with them ? " " Have them sent to my ward and from there distributed, unless you will give me a store room where they can be safely locked and the key put in my charge." After a moment he asked, if he would do that, would I be willing to place my own stores there and take charge and distribute

Adventures of an Army Nurse 49

them as they were needed. I answered, " No, I was there to dress wounds and care for the sol diers personally, and I was too busy to do it and take charge of my ward." He. became angry and asked me to suggest some one to whom I would be willing to give the room. A few days before Miss Dix had brought to the hospital a widow whom I could trust, so I suggested her ; and after much talk the thing was settled. Meantime he gave me a room for the apples; so by night they were stored. Then I sent to every ward a barrel, one to the cooks and one to the doctor. They were a splendid lot, and so welcome, for we had had only very little fruit and every one craved it. Very soon the store-room was a fixed fact, and I had the comfort of knowing that the whole house enjoyed what was meant for the soldiers.

Lexington came to be a very dear place to all I cared for. I am sure many who read these papers will remember the name with gratitude even without its sacred associations. It was such a delight to receive a box from Lexington, and the expectation of what had come was so great that I usually made a little feast for the men's tea. I always identified myself with Lexington, and never can enough thank that little band of good women who gave me the opportunity to do so much good. Their interest never flagged. Till

4

50 Adventures of an Army Nurse

the very end of the war every month brought com forts from them. A soldier never went from my ward, either to his regiment or to his home, with out some proper clothing and often a little money to help him on the journey. For this I take no credit; it was only through those dear friends I was able to do it.

Wednesday [October, 1862],

To-night, for supper, I have made some butter cakes for my men, and such a glorious hash; and won't they think I 'm the best woman in the house? They do, anyway; you ought to hear them brag! I know old Lexington would be real glad. I made gruel in my little saucepan the first thing this morning. The cook flew at me as I was going out of the kitchen : " Here, you can't take that upstairs; it's against the rules." I wanted to say " darn the rules," but I only said, " It 's mine, I thank you," and I felt big. I am always running against some of their rules; but it 's hard keeping the run, they have so many. Now I don't " say it for say," but no bandages are like yours. I can do an arm or leg forty times as well with them, and we are likely to want all we have if the report is true of the big battle. I dread to see the house filled again with more poor sufferers. You would be amused to hear me entertaining them in the evening. I go

Adventures of an Army Nurse 5 1

the whole rounds, taking my little camp-stool, or kneeling beside their beds. They all treat me with such confidence. I know all their histories and sorrows; they talk just like I was their mother. How I do wish I were real good and pious; I could do so much then.

The remaining extracts from her letters for the year 1862 are fully characteristic of this impul sive, warm-hearted, enthusiastic, not always dis criminating woman. Her denunciations of the Post Camp (of which the " fever camps " of the Spanish-American War seem to have been a mild repetition), her personal affection for all her pa tients, her unhesitating hospitality, the results of which make her " bawl/' her good-natured ridi cule of her guests and of herself picture Mary von Olnhausen just as she was and as she re mained to the end of her long life. She wore her heart and her frank, open character upon her sleeve, and many were the unworthy daws who profited thereby.

ALEXANDRIA, November 9, 1862.

Did I tell you that Governor Andrew was here one day, and in my ward, too? I was so sorry to miss him; but, as usual, when anybody comes I 'm cooking. He talked " bunkum " to the Mas-

52 Adventures of an Army Nurse

sachusetts boys ; they all felt so proud, and it made the other boys quite jealous.

I wish you could look into my ward to-night and see these miserable sick men who have come in from the convalescent camp during the last week. Such wrecks I never saw, all worn out with fever and diarrhoea or some other chronic complaint; it's worse than wounded men. This horrid camp is about a mile from here and is such a place! Several thousand have been there, just lying on the ground in tents, many without blankets, none with more than one, the worst pos sible food to eat, and growing sicker and dying every day. Your heart would ache forever after if you could once see them. All discharged from the hospitals, both here and at Washington, are sent out there; it's called the Post Camp. Men just getting up from wounds, fevers, and other sickness, men who have been confined for months in hospitals without any exercise or ex posure, when pronounced fit to join their regi ments, are sent out there to await orders. Some of them lie for weeks there, not being able to learn where their regiment is or even to get trans portation to it. These are sure to get sick again, and many of them die. The camp is so disor ganized that it 's almost impossible to find a man after he once gets into it.

Adventures of an Army Nurse 5 3

One night last week, about nine o'clock, five of these men were sent to me, and I had but three empty beds. Five such objects I never saw, — three with typhoid, one German with shaking palsy, and one with paralysis. They told me they had been pronounced fit for duty and sent out there, where they had been for three weeks or more, every day growing sicker. The night before it had rained steadily and they just lay in pools of mud. What can our government be doing to let such a place exist? Two of them have already died and one of the others, I fear, will. The Massachusetts man (from Plymouth) was brought up in a smaller man's arms, like a baby; so you can think how thin he was. He had his senses, and talked so much about getting home and his " Carry," it was just too pitiful. The Chaplain wrote to her for him, and again after his death.

He and a young man from New York both died last Sunday night; the other one never had his senses after he came in, so we could find nothing out about him; but he was always talking of his mother; and when I called him Charlie he said, '* That 's what mother called me; she always said Charlie." He seemed to want me with him all the time, would look around for me and get right out of bed to follow me as soon as I left him. They lay at extreme ends of the ward, so I just

54 Adventures of an Army Nurse

ran from one to the other all day. One died at eight and the other at nine o'clock, so I could be with both. I never leave a man to sleep or to eat when I think he will soon die ; it seems at least as if a woman ought to close these poor fellows' eyes ; no mother or wife or sister about them. I feel that I must be all to them then, and the last word? of many dying men have been thanks for what I have done. It is so splendid to be able to do any thing for them ; I do not lose my interest or enthu siasm one bit. Everybody said, when I first came, " Oh, you '11 get over this after a while and be hard just like us," but I never can. If possible, I feel more than then.

Such a pleasant thing happened to-day. It was snowing, and I was on my knees trying to make my fire burn, when came a knock, and in walked a young man. I thought I 'd seen his face, but still it was so changed, I could not place him; he had to tell me who he was. He was one of the Culpeper boys who left for some Northern hos pital the first of September. He was wounded through the body, and was very sick while under my care. He had just got back to the Post Camp to join his regiment, and came at once to see and thank me. The tears ran down his cheeks when he told me how he missed my care and how sick he had been since he left here. His wound re-

Adventures of an Army Nurse 55

opened and fever ensued, and for three days he did nothing but call for Miss Mary (that 's what they call me, my name is so hard). When he came to his senses they all bothered him so; but he told them he could never be shamed for that; I was the best nurse and the best woman he knew, and if all the nurses were like me many a poor boy would get well who had died. He says that all the other boys who went at that time said the same. Of course I felt real grateful, but I think the feeling was more for my friends and Lexing ton than for myself. I should so hate to disap point them, and am so proud when I make them a pleasure.

One morning last week I heard that the First Massachusetts and all that division were moving; so I asked Dr. Stewart for an ambulance and went out to the camp, hardly hoping that I should see them, as all said I would be too late. How glad I was I went! It was the finest sight I ever saw. Far and near they were breaking camp, and from a high hill we saw the whole division in motion; it was grand. We had a chance to speak to every body we knew, and to bid them good-bye. They expected a fight immediately, but as yet we have not heard of them. It made me sad enough, though, to see them all going. I thought how many of them would never come back. They

56 Adventures of an Army Nurse

were in splendid spirits — longed for a fight the best kind. That 's the only time I 've been out of the house since I wrote you last.

The disastrous battle of Fredericksburg, with its great number of killed and wounded, took place on December 13. Worn out with excitement and fatigue, and justly indignant at the inadequacy of the preparations for caring for the suffering men, Mrs. von Olnhausen wrote : —

Monday night [December 15, 1862].

To-day has been such an awful day, bringing in the wounded from Frederick. The whole street was full of ambulances, and the sick lay outside on the sidewalks from nine in the morning till five in the evening. Of course, places were found for some; but already the house was full; so the most had to be packed back again and taken off to Fairfax Seminary, two miles out. I have been so indignant all day, — not a thing done for them, not a wound dressed. To be sure, they got dinner ; but no supper. They reached town last evening, lay in the cars all night without blankets or food, were chucked into ambulances, lay about here all day, and to-night were put back into ambulances and carted off again. I think every man who comes a-soldiering is a fool!

Adventures of an Army Nurse 57

Sunday night [December, 1862].

This has been as blue a week as ever I passed. Tuesday night (I mean Tuesday week) two women arrived, one to see her sick son and the other her husband; one came from western Wis consin and the other from northern New York. Dr. S. had just made a new law forbidding visitors to stay in the house; but they were so very poor, and had come so far and felt so bad, I could not bear to see them. So I, bold as a sheep, really decided to face the doctor and to beg him to let them stay. At first he said decidedly, " No ; " but you know how I hang on and grow braver; so finally — to get rid of me, I guess — he said, " Yes, if you will take them into your own room." Oh, dear! now I had just got so nicely settled and so snug ; but of course I could not refuse, and would not, under the circumstances. One of them is very sweet, but the other is a real prairie woman, all but the sunbonnet. Thursday night came a new woman, from western Massachusetts. Dr. S. sent for me and asked if I had any objection to receiving this Mrs. M. as sharer of my room, since there was no unoccupied room fit for her at present. He seemed to forget that I had two ladies already hidden there. Of course I had to take her, although I did hate it so bad. So that night we had four, and only bedding for two, and the room

58 Adventures of an Army Nurse

not large. Next morning the Wisconsin man died, and his wife left that night; but before she left down came Miss Dix with two nurses, one to superintend the low diet and one as nurse; as Doctor was not in, and she must return to Wash ington, she begged me to take charge of them till his return. Now here were six of us, and my gentleman not returned when night came! I managed to find two empty beds in the ward to put them in, but all day Sunday imagine my utter despair! All of them sitting here the whole day, and Monday and Tuesday; who could write? I only felt like bawling. I could not keep the room decent, and they all looked so forlorn and, mind you, they had to furnish their own food and cook it themselves, so my stewer was always going. I could not wash or dress, or in fact do anything; and the ward is kept so cold I could not sit any where with comfort. I had so many errands to do for them I was quite worn out.

At last, Wednesday, Dr. S. came; one nurse he rejected, the other he retained ; and to Mrs. M. he assigned a ward ; but we were still four, — all widows, all old, and all but me exceedingly pious, and ministers' widows at that. Sometimes we would have jolly laughs, though, for all the trouble; and Mrs. B., the one who will take charge of the cooking, is lovely, just such a woman as I

Adventures of an Army Nurse 59

like. Yesterday, Mrs. B. got her room, and out of pity to me she let Mrs. M. sleep in it. So I expected to have at least a bed again; when, just at dark, came in another nurse with a note from Miss Dix to please give her Sunday quarters. So I took the blanket again and don't mean to expect any more peace; they have every one been sitting here all day, and I had to wait for them to go to bed to get a chance at you.

We have been sending off this week every one who could be moved ; and you may believe it 's been a pretty blue time with me, I have had so many of them so long under my care. All have been sent to New York on the Daniel Webster; thanks to that last splendid box, I have been able to make many of them comfortable. Not one left without some warm garments. I expect they will suffer much as it is, but I 'm glad they are getting near home. Poor fellows! some of them are so lean and miserable.

CHAPTER IV

ARRIVING at the Mansion House Hos pital in August of 1862, Mrs. von Oln- hausen seems to have conquered the prejudices of the surgical staff by the beginning of 1863. Therefore that year was to prove a happier one. The long strain of work, however, together with the evil climate of Washington, brought upon her, in June, 1863, a serious attack of dysentery. This so reduced her that she was obliged to ask for a furlough and to return, with some of her relatives who had come for her, to Lexington.

Her letters during this first half of 1863 need little comment. They chronicle, in her amusing way, the conciliation of her first head-surgeon and the coming of a successor; her temporarily suc cessful but eventually disastrous warfare with a most " unjust steward ; " and the varying duties and pleasures of her busy life.

ALEXANDRIA, Sunday evening [January, 1863]. I suppose you just think I never am going to write again; but I can't help it, I live in such a

Adventures of an Army Nurse 6 1

state of confusion all the time. There is always somebody new quartered upon me. I have had a " game " leg and so many bad sick ones, and now I have lost one poor boy. His death was such a mystery to me, for when 1 he did not die of lockjaw, which I expected from the appearance of the wound, I could not believe how he could die so soon. He died Saturday ; and the Tuesday after, at noon, came his poor father and mother. It was dreadful to have to tell them he was dead and buried. I never witnessed more intense grief; for he was their only boy, and they were so proud of him. But he was the wickedest boy I have ever seen die; almost his last breath was an oath ; and I could not make him say one word for his father or mother. I tried so hard to make him talk of them. How his poor mother did long to have one word from him; I had to invent a bit just to make her a little comfort. They were such nice, respectable people; and stayed until Friday, — in my room all the time. You may think how they were in my way, though I could not say " No " to them.

You will be glad to know the change in Dr. S.'s

1 The use of " when " for " if," which is found so often in her letters, was caught evidently from Mr. von Olnhausen, who could not rid himself of the German wenn. Other German words and idioms crop out frequently in her letters, especially in those written during her residence in Saxony.

6 2 Adventures of an Army Nurse

treatment of me. I guess he finds it is creditable to him to have some ladies around. He is most polite when he meets me; and the night we were expecting the wounded he came to my door and asked me to go through my ward with him. It was nine o'clock, but the rooms did look nice, the beds all so clean, and clothes for each man laid out, such bright fires and warm and cold water, sponges and everything else ready. He was so pleased, and said he had found no other ward in such order. Then he turned and asked me if he might come to my room for a few mo ments, he had something to say to me. When there he told me he had reason to believe that I thought he did not like me, and he himself knew he had been sometimes rude to me, for which he apologized. " But, madam, you are mistaken ; I am more than satisfied; I would have you leave on no account ; you have done and are doing more to elevate the tone of this hospital than any one in it, and anything you ask for your ward or for yourself I will grant; only always come to me; don't send through a third person." Now this was real nice, was n't it ? Everybody likes to be appreciated. He said, too, he had been watching me for a long time and knew all I 'd done, — " and more than that, every doctor and every man in the house likes you." I wish you could hear

Adventures of an Army Nurse 6 3

his voice; it is about three times louder than a bull's. He said he knew people called him a Rebel ; but he denied the charge stoutly and spoke right feelingly of his honor to the flag. He finally de clared, " With you and Mrs. B., madam, this house shall be the first hospital in the country ; " and you have no idea what a change there is here since she came. She is matron, has the sole charge of the low diet — which is the most important in the house — so we are entirely relieved of that horrid cooking; and she does make such nice things, all sorts of delicious delicacies, that one can see the men improve.

She is a most interesting woman and has had such a sad life. Her only boy was killed in the army. She was at Antietam when her son-in-law came to tell her that her boy was dead. From that moment she was stark mad; they took her home to Chambersburg, forty miles ; she was so bad that the next day they took her, by all the doctors' advice, to the asylum at Harrisburg, her daughter and son-in-law going with her. While they were making arrangements for her entrance, she was temporarily placed in the room where all the worst insane were, and there she came to her senses, — just think of it, her full and entire senses! She turned to the doctor and said, " Doctor, they have brought me to a mad-house; what is this

64 Adventures of an Army Nurse

for? " He tried to soothe her; she demanded to see her daughter ; but they supposed it was another phase, so the daughter went off without seeing her at all, fearing to injure her. She was taken to her room, and there were two women always with her night and day, everybody supposing her insane and paying no heed to her. She demanded to go home; of course they would not let her, and there she was kept ten days with her ter rible grief for her dear boy and in this awful life. Then she told her daughter, in a letter, that when she did not come immediately and take her home she would disinherit her and never see her again while she lived. Of course, the poor girl came and took her right away, though the doctor opposed her ; but she saw at once that her mother was entirely sane. Mrs. B. stayed in Chambers- burg two days and then came right to Miss Dix, who treated her so tenderly and beautifully, keep ing her busy now in one hospital, now in another, till she was over the worst of her grief and her health was established. Then she brought her here for good. *

We had quite an entertainment New Year's night (quite stupid, I mean). Of course all the doctors made lengthy speeches, and then there was tremendous howling of patriotic songs. There were lots of outside ladies, all dressed up fine, in

Adventures of an Army Nurse 65

front; and, for the patients, a cake big as a cart wheel and heavy as lead, which was capital. G. will remember how fond I am of cake with a " stripe," though I don't think it is the best diet for sick people.

ALEXANDRIA [January or February, 1863].

I 'm sure you will be surprised at my long letter to the Society [Lexington Soldiers' Aid Society] , and, after all, so little that is satisfactory said in it; but you know just how hard it is for me to write duty letters. Do look over the spelling, especially Pyemia. I don't know if it should have a y or an i in it. I only spelled it as it sounds. You see one word was wrong in the very first; there may be a dozen. When you think I have said too much you might condense it; I could, now it is done, only I have no time to copy.

Do give me some clue to the P. family. I have a vision of old P. ; what is he? I can't place him, but somehow it seems like he was connected with L. in some funny way. Did she ever have him for a pet chore man (I wrote it " chaw " first) ? Anyway the poor boy looks bad enough. I don't exactly fancy the hospital he is in; but his bed looked clean and I guess he is well taken care of. I promised to go and see him every day, so I shall. How I wish he could have been with me ! I would

66 Adventures of an Army Nurse

have felt so proud to have a Lexington soldier in my care.

Do you know, I grow just as mean as a pig with my things ! I won't give a single well man a thing, only those who are going off to camp. It 's come to be a regular thing for all the clerks and detailed men about the house to ask for this or that; but I always tell them, " No, they are sent for the sick soldiers and not for well men shirking duty and lying around hospitals! " I used not to be so sav age, but I have got perfectly disgusted with these men. They are just too lazy to do duty, and so get big pay and "laze" around. There are so many invalids who could do all they do, and they might be fighting. When you could once see the abuse! Look into the kitchen, for instance, and see the great, strong men who are cooking ; then you 'd be mad, too !

Isn't it too bad the apples have not come? I feel so disappointed, but Dr. S. is sharp after them. He, by the way, is good as pie to me. Speaking of pies, you did not send me one ; but them dough nuts and that there square gingerbread was too dolicious. I feel pretty mean about giving the last, and the first we ate in our own room. My brains are baked in my head, but I 've got wound up and it 's one dem'd grind now. The fire is so hot, and if I move my chair one inch the leg will

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come out. It Js a " compound comminuted frac ture " and takes too much time to set it often.

ALEXANDRIA, February, 1863.

I must tell you about a little excursion we made on the I4th. Dr. S. gave us leave (Mrs. B. and me) to go down to Mt. Vernon with some of our men. He said we could take but twelve, — as the tug could get only within a mile of the shore, — and that we must row in a small boat. First we must take those who had been longest wounded and after that all the amputations. He gave us a little tug to go in, the best and fastest on the river, and I wish you could have seen us set off, seven pairs of crutches. It would have done your heart good to see how happy the poor fellows were ; think ! for six months some of them had been shut up and had hardly stepped on the ground. They were just as gay with us old nurses as if we had all been young. I told them, coming home, that the only omission, for St. Valentine's, had been that nobody had asked us to marry him; so they all began at once. The one-legs had the best of it, for they are sure of eight dollars a month.

I thought I might be able to tell you a little of Mt. Vernon and my impressions, but that would be impossible. I 'm convinced that one ought to be alone there, or at least with one's best friend,

68 Adventures of an Army Nurse

everything seems so sacred. You feel that you stand in the presence of the spirit, at least, of Washington ; and I could almost believe I saw him. It seemed wicked to speak aloud. The rooms are unfurnished and most desolate, and the old harpsi chord sounds unearthly. The mantel-piece and hearth in the dining room are splendid. The carv ing is in strong bas-relief to represent agriculture in all its forms. Would you believe that some vandals have broken horns from cows, arms from milkmaids, and legs from dogs and boys to take away as relics ? Is n't it shameful ? The view from the front of the house is splendid; such a beautiful river, with the fort and hills opposite.

ALEXANDRIA [March, 1863].

We have been having a general turn-up and turn-out, and so have much to talk about; every day brings some new thing to light. Dr. S. is promoted and leaves here for some other field. He made his farewell to-night and was much affected at parting. He has been to me as kind as a brother, and has regretted so many times that he did not know me at first.

Our new doctor in charge is Dr. Page. I don't know where he comes from. I saw him this morn ing for the first time; he is nice looking and gentlemanly, and I 'm particularly pleased, for he

Adventures of an Army Nurse 69

found much fault in every ward but mine, and in mine he praised everything. The fact is I have the best attendants in the house, and they will do anything for me; so it is not much praise to me, after all; and then, at present, I have the only sick in the house ( I mean badly wounded — and you 'd better believe they are well bandaged up inspection days; they have to like it). I am quite impatient to know where I shall be located. There was talk of New Mexico and New Orleans; but nobody knows yet.

The river is black with ducks ; but they are too dear to buy, and I have no time to go shooting. Sometimes in the early morning I can hear all the birds sing ; but, after that, these army wagons constantly moving deaden any sound, and not a breath of the country reaches us. Now the lizards and beetles are waking up and I long to be out in it. If the weather would only be warm and pleasant we might go out, now that we have lei sure, only the mud is so frightful.

We have just heard that by the last of the week every bed in the house will be full; the sick and wounded are all to be sent from the front. I am sorry the sick are coming; I never want another sick man in my ward; I like all wounded. Don't you feel hopeful now about the war? These reforms are splendid and so needed. I believe

70 Adventures of an Army Nurse

now all will go well. How poor the Rebs must be!

I thought it best not to trouble you with an account of how we have been living lately, — everything cut off, nothing but coffee (so poor and with hardly ever milk) and dry bread for break fast; for dinner bread and meat (and such meat! always the tail or neck or some other nasty part), and at night coffee and bread again. Being hun gry is nothing to being so insulted. We knew we had a right to all our rations; and while Dr. S. was here we always urged Mrs. B. to ask him, and so put us out of the power of these cooks. They hate us because we are decent women and will fight for the soldiers' rights, thus cutting off their re sources. For some reason she never would; she thought he would believe us selfish or something.

One day it was past all bearing. I was posi tively so hungry I could have eaten cat's meat. I sat over the fire after supper, tired and hungry and wondering if the good I did was balanced by my suffering (more from insults than any thing else), when all at once it struck me to go to Dr. Page myself. It was eight o'clock; I found him alone, and he listened to all my story. He seemed so surprised at it, said we had not even one privilege we were entitled to, called the Steward — who is just the meanest, hatefullest (oh, help

Adventures of an Army Nurse 71

me to a word, I don't care if it is profane) man that ever lived — and told him that in future we were to draw our own rations and have our own cook. I felt so elated, and when I announced it next morning the women actually embraced me.

Well, we waited for five days; no rations, though we kept demanding them. Then we were cut down short enough; deprived even of sugar. Thereupon I sent word to H. (the Steward) that when the rations did not come at once I would appeal to Dr. Page again. So the rations for ten days (that's the time for drawing) came; but there was such a little allowance that we had to buy half we ate. I got some soldiers who had been in the Quartermaster's department to look at them ; and they said we had not a third of what we ought. So up to Dr. Page I went again and told him of the matter. He called H., who swore we had full weight of everything. I said, " Doc tor, just make us independent of this man; let us draw direct from the Quartermaster." " Cer tainly, when you like it;" and he signed our requi sition for eight women.

Mrs. B. and I went down, taking a boy along, to bring the rations up. Judge of our conster nation when it took a cart to carry them ! Eighty pounds of meat, eighty pounds of flour, and so much beans, rice, molasses, vinegar, pork,

72 Adventures of an Army Nurse

tea, coffee and sugar, — enough for every lux ury. We acted like fools. I was really ashamed to find myself so rejoiced, — even candles. We called all the women down to see, and the cooks were all so mad, knowing we were out of their clutches, they could have bitten us. We went out and traded off sixty-two pounds of meat and got $5.25 for it in cash; this buys our butter and milk. Then our flour we exchange with a baker, pound for pound, so we can have cake and pies sometimes; and we shall keep our beans and rice till we get a bushel of them, and then change them off. Is n't it nice ? And yesterday all gave a little, and the rest we took from the five dollars, making enough to get us cups and saucers, white plates and dishes. You can't think how nice our table looked; the luxury of a cup after drinking eight months out of a tin or earthen mug was too much. I would not have anybody I love connected with the Quartermaster and Hos pital department for the world; they cannot have power, it seems to me, and be honest ; it is proven every day. A good boy comes in and, if he has some talent, is given something to do in that department. From that moment he begins to fall, puts on such airs, and pockets all he can.

When our own battles were settled, then it was time, when good feeding had given us a little

Adventures of an Army Nurse 73

strength, to put in for our patients ; so last Sun day morning I opened fire. Dr. C. has that de partment, so I attacked him ; but he was mad when I told him the patients would starve only for the nurses, who had to buy everything the sickest men ate. He denied it, and said he knew his nurse did not do it. So she was called, and said she did; then the others were called; and, at last, we had about every nurse and doctor in the house growl ing and snarling. Dr. C. said they had every thing according to the new diet-table; some of the doctors denied it and some of them backed him up; at last we all adjourned to some under ground room (the bread-room) to read the table list, when it proved that they got nothing in the quantity even that was ordered there; and as to quality, Lord help them! How I wish you could have heard the row ! It went on all day ; even in the evening everybody was called up and talked to ; and the result is that it has been a little better this week, though far from the mark, and soon (if it grows less every day) it will be back to the old standard, for that wretch H. or somebody will miss the money and get it back if possible. So you see our path is not all rose-leaves, and you can see, too, one of the many impositions put upon the noble fellows who are throwing away their lives for such men as these. Are all

74 Adventures of an Army Nurse

men naturally bad? That's going to be the only religious question I shall study in the future. I guess this war will make me religious, for one. I am getting a good deal more patient and for giving than I used to be, but I '11 never forgive the soldiers' enemies. I can sooner forgive the Rebels who kill them.

You wonder the boys don't answer the notes [written by Lexington ladies and sent with the clothing] ; you don't know how modest they feel. Then, too, I suppose many of them are not much used to writing. Moreover, they had some rebuffs

from that Miss ; she wrote to them and they

answered; and then she thought she would be motherly, advise them about their spelling, etc., and that mortified them. Of course the letters were shown all around, so it 's given them all a holy horror of writing to strange women.

Blue Eyes, my pet boy, leaves me to-morrow; he is too lovely, so confiding and sweet; he is to be discharged. I suppose he cannot walk for a long time, though his wound is quite healed. I shall be bluer than ever when he goes. T., too, goes home to-morrow. I never have told you about him; he is too mean to live. He is dread fully mad they gave him his discharge; says he meant to stay round the hospital this summer, as it's the easiest way to get $13 a month. He's the first mean Massachusetts man I 've met.

Adventures of an Army Nurse 75

ALEXANDRIA, Friday [March or April, 1863].

I hardly know whether I have a head on my shoulders; since last summer I never saw such times here, — sick coming and going all the time. I Ve forgotten where I left off and can't think what to tell first. I believe I told you about the amputations we had; those boys were so sick for so long; but that was a hard time! Dr. B. away, and so much resting on me, and such wounds to dress. The arm boy wiggled through and is still alive. He is just as disagreeable as ever; but it is only since four days that we have thought he could live. But that other splendid man dies. I never felt sorrier; he was such a noble fellow and so good and patient. He wanted me by him all the time, and would not let any one touch him but me; he died the Sunday after I wrote last.

The very night he died they " piked " the wounded in upon us from that cavalry fight. They were all badly shot, and the amputations had all been performed on the field. I had an Eighth Illinois boy with the leg off nearly to the body; he was almost pulseless when he came, and was so much exhausted with the long ride that it was twenty-four hours before we could get him warm at all, and he has been lying in a hopeless state ever since. He dictated such a beautiful letter to his sister, though it was almost impossible to

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keep him awake for more than a minute at a time. He died yesterday morning, and I felt as if half the ward was gone. I had to write his sister; it is so hard to write such letters. He was a better kind of a boy than I was used to seeing in Illinois.

You would have to be here to realize how busy I have been. We have no low-diet cook now since Mrs. B. gave it up, and it 's so hard going up and down four long flights of stairs for every thing; for we can't even warm a drop of water up here. Often I make the journey ten or fifteen times a day. If it were not for this, I would like my ward better than any other in the house; but it takes the wind.

You can form no idea of our disturbed nights, — constant alarms and the backward movement of the army. The continual rattling of heavy wagons and the guard patrolling and challenging, one cannot sleep much. I have not felt fully awake in a fortnight ; and when the noise outside is a little less, comes the watchman with, " Somebody has a chill, or a pain, or wants to see me," so all nights are disturbed ones. You know what a dumb sort of feeling one has after a succession of such nights ; so you can expect only stupidity from me. Sun day evening was the crowner of all; I never can forget it. We were all day expecting the wounded, all who have been lying down front; those poor,

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neglected soldiers, some seventeen hundred in all, were brought to this place. Such a dreary sight ; the streets perfectly jammed with the poor blessed cripples, ambulances, stretchers, beds, crutches, everything. It was just horrible. It was twelve o'clock when the last boat-load arrived ; the attend ants were all tired out with lugging them, and yet there were still hundreds not cared for. Two boat-loads had to be reloaded and sent to Wash ington. Think of those poor sufferers! I had not a single attendant to do a thing. W. and "Jack the Giant Killer" had them all to wash; and I helped do that and dressed all the wounds besides. I had fractures to put up and anterior splints to make, all without one word of advice. Dr. F. has been my doctor since Dr. B. went ; but he has another big ward and was also officer of the day, so could not leave for a moment. He sent for me and said he should leave everything for me to manage as I thought proper. Dr. Page came up about twelve and was so pleased with what I had done. It was nearly morning when we got to bed.

Monday and Tuesday went off splendidly. I had all the work I wanted and such " bully " wounds to dress ; but Tuesday night came another despatch from headquarters that every man who could be moved must leave next morning for

78 Adventures of an Army Nurse

r

Philadelphia ; so before I had got interested or

could distinguish one man from another I lost them all. They were such a nice set of men, all from the Twelfth and Sixth army corps, and such brave boys ; was n't it too bad when we had got them all cleaned up and straightened out to have them go again? They left me only six of the new cases. I have eleven in all. It was harder to have them go than come, I think; they did not want to leave, either. This has been the most confusing time I have known since last summer. Mrs. B. is quite worn out; she had so many bad thigh fractures which could not be brought upstairs.

Sunday night [March or April, 1863].

I shall give up, I cannot write; I have tried fifty times since this was commenced. You can't know all I have done these last two days; more patients have come and gone, and now I have only ten left in my ward; but I have been into two other wards helping, or rather putting up anterior splints; for you will feel quite proud to know that I can put them up — so the surgeons say — better than any one in the house. At any rate, Dr. P. of Boston is lying here with his leg very badly fractured; he is not in my ward, but Dr. F. sent compliments for me to come and dress it. He and two other surgeons stood by while

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I worked; they never gave one word of advice, just stood and looked on; and when I had finished they all said they never saw one so well put up. I felt so glad, for you must see it was no small compliment. The patient himself is a fine sur geon, and he was most delighted of all. I know this sounds very egotistical, but at present my passion is wound dressing, and I will excel.

Major Higginson, of the First Massachusetts Cavalry, is in the house. He is such a pleasant man, cousin to the minister; he so wants to come into my ward. His father is here to take him home when he is well enough. Besides three sabre cuts, he has a bullet in him. He asked me to come down every day and see him, for he has such a hateful nurse. He used to be Lieutenant in the Second Massachusetts, Company E. Is n't it provoking I never can get Massachusetts boys in my ward?

I 'm in for the war until discharged ; I can't for a moment regret it; I could never be contented now at home remembering what I can do here and how many need me. I know that all are not fitted for this life, but I feel as if it were my special calling and I shall not leave it, if God gives me strength, while I know there is a Union soldier to nurse. You can have no idea how one's patriot ism grows while one sees those poor fellows lying so piteonsly. I can't see how such a thing as a

8o Adventures of an Army Nurse

Copperhead can live. Do kill every one in Lex ington. How I do wish every one of them was in the Rebel lines to be shot down!

The town is full of rumors to-day. They say we are having the best of it; but what can one believe? We heard cannonading last night, but far off. I suppose the Second [Massachusetts] is fighting again ; it always fights, you know. I don't have any time to enjoy my new clothes; I can't even glance in the glass to see how I look in them. I had my old bonnet " newed " up, and it looks delicious.

ALEXANDRIA [April or May, 1863], Wednesday. We went to Washington yesterday, sightseeing, — Mrs. B. and daughter, Mrs. M. and I. We did the Smithsonian thoroughly, and then went to the Capitol; whereupon it commenced raining like piker. We had a fine chance to see every thing, for we could not get away, took a lunch there (about the poorest ever was eaten), but had finally to come back again. We have to go again one day this week to finish up the business. I wish you could see some of the green specimens we met yesterday; it was better than all else. Such shocking, " muggins " women ; they had to sit in every chair and stand in every place, and they talked about the piles of babies (cupids and angels) painted on the walls; "didn't see what

Adventures of an Army Nurse 8 1

they painted them there for." They went into all the private rooms and asked so many questions ; they " had n't no umbrel and no gums, and did n't see what they was going to do." I concluded the unterrified democracy had got around, sure. I suppose I seemed just as verdant, but I did n't feel so.

ALEXANDRIA, Wednesday [May, 1863].

W. has just come back to me wounded in the head. We hope not badly; but he is in a very exhausted state, as when he went into the field he was not fit for it, and they had never stopped marching from Monday morning at three o'clock till Sunday, when he was wounded; just march ing and fighting all the time. Poor fellow, he was so overcome when he got here; he is sleeping now, and when he wakes the doctor will examine him, and I shall know better how he is. The glorious Second [Massachusetts] has won new laurels. He says he would rather have been the meanest private in that than a general anywhere else. This is a bad storm for our poor fellows, but let us hope for the best. I feel sure we shall win. How I hate my Reb wounded ; they are so exult ant, too, this morning ; I 'm sure they have heard something. I don't think I can dress their wounds any more. Aunt Mary S. asked them if they were well treated. " Oh, splendid, madam." " I

6

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am glad to hear it," she said, " I like even my enemies to be well treated." " Oh, madam, you are not Secesh then ? " " No, sir, not a drop of traitor blood runs in my veins." She looked bully when she said it.

There is a lot of fun made about turning the boxes over to the hospital. To-day one of the nurses was telling her doctor of my box and the fine dresses it contained ; she is rather " soft," and said I had such a lovely lawn and a balmoral skirt she wanted. So he wrote an order, and sent it in, for "One purple lawn dress and one balmoral skirt to be delivered to the nurse on the third floor." It took some time for Mrs. B. to get the matter through her wool.

I 'm reading Les Miserables to W. to try to make him contented. I read it as I would like to have it read to me, on the jump and skip plan.

A lot of women came in to-day just as I was dressing " Blue Beard's " wound. One of them, as she saw it, just gave a stagger and fell up against the wall. She was pale as could be, and I thought would faint. All the women crowded around, and one young one said, " Oh, I always thought I should so like to be a nurse." She looked about as much account as a yellow cat.

His wound, by the way, is n't doing very well ; but he 's such a nice fellow, the beau ideal of a

Adventures of an Army Nurse 8 3

soldier in bearing, and looks so prompt and trig, and is real good and patriotic. He wants to go back to the field, but I 'm afraid the poor fellow never will. He won't be idle, so he has taken the diet and dispensary books and the light work of the ward. My big Jack is getting better and will soon be off again; he, too, is a real nice fellow. I want to make him wound-dresser, if we ever have any wounded, but he would rather be in the field. Oh, the shirks there are in this army; so many cowards to one brave man!

ALEXANDRIA, VA., Sunday, May 17, 1863.

We have been expecting some wounded all day from Fairfax Station; there was a fight with the Guerillas and Vermont cavalry and some New York regiment; but they have not come yet; probably, as usual, they will come in the night.

You ask about our rations. The drawing of them is a fixed fact ; every ten days Mrs. B. and I go down with our requisitions, and, now we begin to understand it, you can't know how nicely we live. It takes some dickering, but she is good at that, and we have such a surplus. Of our meat alone (fresh beef) we can always sell seventy-five pounds, and sometimes ninety. A butcher buys it at government price (8^ c.), and pays us cash; this buys butter, eggs, other kinds of meat or

84 Adventures of an Army Nurse

" garding sarce;" the milkman takes pork or molasses for his pay; and the baker gives us bread, pound for pound, for our flour. We have pie or cakes now and then, and no more growling ; every one is pleased at the table. We bought some cups and saucers and spoons (we used to have mugs or tin cups and one huge iron spoon put into the sugar), and our table now looks quite like white folks.

I can't help liking Dr. Page, nor do I see who can; he never talks to any one, but he makes all the reforms we ask for. The patients for the first time get enough to eat, and good food too; and we have only to complain (I mean a just com plaint) and he rights it.

I have not told you how near I came to going to the front. Miss Dix promised to take me; for a couple of days I got entirely ready and then went in to dress my wounds ; I have such a stupid set, I had no one to trust. I set two men to watch for the mail boat; we can see it all the way from Washington. They sat at the windows, and I worked away on those devilish Rebs, when, hap pening to look out, there I saw the boat at our wharf just starting again. I could have killed the men; but after all it was just as well, for W. was very sick that day and the next, and I had to be with him every moment. I don't know what

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Miss Dix will say, but I sha'n't tell her it was stupidity. As W. was so sick, I can say it was he who kept me.

Monday morning [May 18, 1863].

I was interrupted yesterday, and last evening I had to go to church; so I must hurry up this morning and get this in the post. We have been having such fusses and cross-fits all over the house this morning, about these Rebs, that I feel not at all disposed to write. Some of the nurses are so clever to them, always running and cooking for them, that I 've got out of all patience. I say what is good enough for our men is too good for them. Mrs. M. sometimes gets one of hers three breakfasts before he is suited. I wish I had him in my ward ; there 'd be one hungry man in the house unless he ate what I gave him first. How susceptible some women are to flattery; they (the Rebs) really do have twice the privileges that our Union boys have.

I hope before I write you again we shall have our house filled up once more; I am so tired of this idleness. Those wounded expected yesterday did not come, and we almost despair. I wish the army would move again; but I still believe in Hooker, and expect much from him as soon as the two years' men have done going off. I hope you will never notice the nine months5 men; they

86 Adventures of an Army Nurse

are not worth " shucks." Don't go to the show, will you, when they come home? They just lie round hospitals; this has been full of them, lazier than hounds. All they want is the bounty and to get home. All the Rebs they see are the prisoners.

ALEXANDRIA [May, 1863].

On Monday morning news came that a boat load of wounded men were on the way for us. They arrived about five o'clock, — such a sick, neglected set as one could ever see; they were some of those who had been in the Rebs' hands and had had nothing done for them till they got over the lines, — and then very little, for the ac commodations are miserable in those tents. I have no patience at all at so many being kept there; it 's such a shame that so little is done for our wounded to get them to comfortable quarters. In every instance it's been so; a week at least must elapse before anything is done for them. Who does or can control this, I wonder? I got nine for my share, for they had to be distributed all over town. As they are the first wounded that have come for a long time to Alexandria, all are greedy as cormorants to get some.

I expect you will want a full history of mine, so I '11 begin at the beginning ; and the beginning is that a more wooden, stupid set of dough-heads

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never lived than my attendants, the whole "biling" being green, nine-months' Vermonters. I shall now fully understand "Green Mountain Boys." I never completely realized my loss in all my dear, good boys till that day. I thought I never should get the patients washed and into bed. At last, in despair, I had to press poor W. into the service, though I knew it would bring on fearful excitement and that it would be hours before he could sleep; but he insisted, seeing my despair, on bossing the job, and at last they were comfortably in bed. Until you could once be in a hospital and see the state of the men as they come in, especially of those who have the blood of three weeks upon them and the dirt of as many months, you can form no idea of the undertaking. But the sat isfaction on their faces when all is done and they are finally at rest is very great. Especially when a woman is near to nurse them, they seem so grateful.

These men are all of the Eleventh Corps, and every one was shot in the first moments of the attack. They are all Germans but one, and he is Irish. I don't believe he ran ; he is a spunky little fellow and bears pain " bully." He always smiles when I dress his wound, and only grits his teeth a little when I stuff the lint in. Next to him lies the hero of the ward, a little German boy of seven-

88 Adventures of an Army Nurse

teen. A piece of shell struck him just by the lower part of the right ear, glancing upward a little, ploughing through the cheek to the bone, and cutting off the end of the nose. It is almost impossible to give chloroform to patients when the mouth is being operated upon, and he said he did not care for it ; so they performed without any. He never even frowned; the only indication of pain was the shaking of his foot. The room was filled with doctors and lookers-on, and they did nothing but marvel. He can't speak one word of English, is so interesting, and must have been very handsome. The other two in that room are not so badly wounded; only they have been so long neglected that they need much care.

In the next room lies a handsome German with a fractured arm. The next is wounded through the lungs, the ball coming out at the back under the left shoulder. One has a sabre-cut over the head ; but it 's a flesh wound, and he will soon be right. Next is a boy of seventeen who was shot through the left elbow. But the great case of the house is my " mouth " man, a really noble fellow. He, too, is German, as all the rest. The ball en tered just at the point of the collar bone nearest the throat, and lodged in the right shoulder- joint fast and firm, just in the ball of the joint. It was an hour and forty minutes from the time they be-

Adventures of an Army Nurse 89

gan to operate upon him till all was done; it 's per fectly wonderful how one can live after such an operation, but he is doing splendidly. Worst of all is that my doctor went off Thursday and left me with all these important wounds to take care of, and not a person except these stupid men even to help dress. I have felt so anxious and responsible.

Here I have been writing all this and not telling you one word of the excitement around us. For the last week all sorts of rumors have been afloat of the invasion of Alexandria; preparations have been making all around, rifle pits dug everywhere, arming negroes, mounting batteries and such things, even the bridge made ready to be destroyed at a moment's notice, and no one permitted to go out of town; but still no one exactly believing, half ridiculing; — till to-day matters begin to be serious. Rifle pits are dug across all streets lead ing to the commissary departments, for here lie all the stores for the whole army of the Potomac. Just at the corner of our hospital and just under my window one is dug, and a battery of four guns planted; so we shall have some shooting (I mean if they come), and since I began to write up comes the orderly, counts out every man in the hospital able to shoulder a gun, and arms them all, so that at a moment's warning they may be ready.

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I don't feel the least frightened for myself, but it 's horrid to think of these poor wounded fellows and what they would suffer. The town is full of Secesh just waiting for a raid in order to come out openly; and they could fire every hospital at once. I only hope the newspaper reports won't alarm you at home.

General Clough, the military governor of this place, was in here to-night, and says the enemy are within ten miles of us, but how strong he does n't know ; of course they are in some force or they would not venture near so many forts as guard this town. Guards are patrolling the streets, and "Halt!" is the continuous cry. I sent a man out for ice to-night, and they snapped him up. I assure you it 's very exciting; of course much is said that is not true, but there must be some cause for all this fuss. I 'm so glad my Secesh men are all disposed of. They Ve been sent to Washington. There are only four in the house now, and those have a guard placed over them to-night. Last night the long roll beat from twelve till two; it sounded good.

I am glad you liked W.'s face; I think it's so good and manly. He begins to look like himself again; his hair has grown out a little, and the wound is entirely healed. Dr. Bellangee1 scolds

1 Assistant surgeon, in charge of Mrs. von Olnhausen's ward; subsequently surgeon-in-chief at Morehead City.

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me because I closed it so nicely ; says it is not half enough of a scar; but his others are bad enough to do him credit. You would have laughed to see him, he was so funny sometimes. One time he saw some Secesh women passing along; he flew out after them and pulled them by the sleeve: "Here, you Secesh women, you hunting for Rebs? Well, turn to your right and look in the first right- hand door, and there you '11 see a bully old Reb " ; then he made a profound bow, ran back, hopped into bed, and looked as innocent as if he 'd done nothing. They were scared enough, and mad too. Another time he threw his old slippers at two and said, " My new ones are too good for Rebs ; they came from Lexington." They excited him so that the doctor forbade their coming through this hall.

I often wish you could see some of the letters I receive from the men when they go away; I sometimes think I '11 send them to you. Of course many of them are poor " or'n'ry " specimens, but they are so earnest, and some of them beautiful in sentiment.

ALEXANDRIA [May, 1863].

We have not had any wounded brought from the front yet; but they brought sixteen Rebs from Warren ton (Mosby's men), all shockingly wounded. I had four brought into my ward. I

92 Adventures of an Army Nurse

did hate to have them, and felt at first that I could not take care of them ; but two were so bad I had to pity them, even after I heard the worst things about one of them. He was a boy only sixteen, so lousy and dirty you could not see his skin, and with long hair, as they all have, like a girl's. He had been fighting but two months, and was an only son. His home is just a little way from here, and his voice was like a child's; and yet when, in the early part of the fight, one of our men had been surprised, had surrendered, and had handed his revolver over to him, the boy shot him dead. It seemed impossible for me to dress his wounds; but his sufferings were so terrible that I forgot for the time how wicked he was. He told me he was sorry he had ever left his home. He wanted so to.get well, and kept saying, " Good lady, can't I get a discharge from this hospital? I want to go home." Poor little fellow! his mother should have kept him there. I saw in another hospital, a few days ago, a little boy only fourteen who had been through all that Peninsular Campaign. How homesick he was, and how tired of soldiering! He was a drummer boy. I believe they have sent him home.

I wish you could see my little turtle; it is not bigger than a cent and is real pretty. Every night it crapples out, and I have such a hunt for him.

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Yesterday I found him in Mrs. M.'s bed. Then I have a snail that I found at Mt. Vernon last winter; he, too, goes wandering. Every time we are to have a storm he is as big as a quarter- dollar. I keep a pan with wild flowers and roots in it for them to live in, and give them meat and sugar to eat. I always hunt for beetles whenever I go out, and have some live ones. May Day I spent over the river alone; it is always a pretty sad day to me.

One of my men, who has been to New Jersey on a furlough, says that the Copperheads offered him, if he would desert and stay at home, fifteen dollars a month and house-rent free, and agreed to protect him if our people attempted to arrest him. He was mad, and made such a flaming speech to the crowd that a Union man stepped up and gave him twenty-five dollars for his family, and said if they wanted anything they could come to him. Bully for my man! I wish you could see this river now; every few hours a boat-load of prisoners goes past; to-day, it is said, three thousand have gone up.

ALEXANDRIA [May, 1863].

It is dreadful living so near the field of battle [Chancellorsville]. It's only about forty miles from here; and yet you get the real news as soon as we, — I mean, reliable news. From the

94 Adventures of an Army Nurse

heights about the town, we can hear the guns, and boats are constantly passing up and down; and yet there are a thousand false to one true rumor. For two days it was said Hooker had failed and that his loss was fearful; I mean they said so, not the papers. I never passed two such days as those were. Then came the good news; and I almost felt that, even if our dear friends are wounded, it was such high honor to be wounded fighting under such a soldier and for such a cause, they were to be envied. Does not this war make one pious, though? I feel like praying all the time. I did not know till now how strong my faith in God and his power was; now I am constantly turning to him. It is useless trying to tell you how I miss my dear friends, — every one gone now except Sergeant G., and he leaves next week. I feel as if I must go, and yet I 'm near the front here, and if mine need me I can be with them.

You will think we are always having fusses here, but — such a house ! Sunday, when Dr. Page went into Mrs. B.'s store-room she asked him for some things that the men in the dispensary had refused to give up, but that had been sent to her by the Sanitary Commission. Dr. Page told her he thought the dispensary was the proper place for them, and that, furthermore, he meant to con-

Adventures of an Army Nurse 95

fiscate everything sent to the nurses in the way of delicacies or clothes. You may bet my back was up ; so yesterday morning I went to him and asked if he was in earnest ; he said, " Yes." I told him that rather than give what things I had to those miserable, drinking boys, I 'd throw them from the windows. " Do they drink? " " Doctor, you know they do, when you look in their faces. My friends send those things for soldiers, not for clerks and stewards who, I know, constantly invite their friends and treat them to delicacies and wines." "Are you sure?" "Yes, within a week." So I explained what I knew; also that they had used a large quantity of choice stores left with them, subject to my particular order only, by a Philadelphia lady who was not permitted to bring them upstairs. I had never had but two orders rilled, and then all was gone. I told him, moreover, that I thought it was wrong to place so much temptation before mere boys. " I agree with you," he said ; " and now, when I will take all the wines and liquors from the dispensary, will you take charge of and deliver them ? " I told him I thought there were others better qualified than I (meaning Mrs. B.). " Ha! you come with con- plaints and then shirk responsibility!" So I ac cepted at once rather than be charged that way; but I went right to the Chaplain and told him he

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must go and beg Dr. Page to put Mrs. B. in my place; it was so wrong to take it from her. I knew she would feel hurt, told him I was a dough- head, and that he must say so. He talked the doctor over, and now she is to have them.

ALEXANDRIA, Sunday [June, 1863]. You must have been surprised at my letter an nouncing W.'s return so soon after his leaving. I was so stunned at seeing him I don't know what I wrote about him. Anyway I knew nothing of his wound or what he had gone through to get here until after that; so I have no fear of giving a twice-told tale. You can form no idea how utterly prostrated he was with fatigue and loss of blood and the shock of the ball. From Monday morning, at three, till about eight on Sunday morning, when he was wounded, the regiment was marching and fighting all the time. In fording the Rapidan the water was up to their arm-pits; they charged on a body of about one hundred and fifty Rebs (I think he said), who were building a most substantial bridge across the river, and took them all prisoners. He said the boys were just as full of fun as if they had waded in for play; when they saw a Reb hiding or skulking off, they would call, " Come here, Johnny Reb " (they all call them that name), " we won't hurt

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you." It was about four o'clock, they were all wet through, the night was cold, not a fire was allowed, and they just bivouacked in the woods without any cover. What these poor souls have to suffer !

When W. first fell, all supposed he was killed; he was insensible. When he came to, G. and M. — another noble fellow — were kneeling beside him, tears rolling down their cheeks. They had only time to say good-bye and receive his messages when they had to leave him. After they had ex hausted their ammunition (he had fired forty rounds before he fell), they were ordered to the rear to replenish, and bore him along so tenderly, saw him cared for at a hospital, and went to the front again. He does n't know how long he stayed there; but before night the hospital was shelled, and he only remembers hobbling up. He must have got to another hospital, as, early in the morn ing, that was shelled, and again all were started off somewhere else. He took the road to Falmouth with the one idea to get back to Dr. Bellangee and myself. He walked some time; then a negro came along, took him into his wagon and drew him some four miles; the driver's road was then an other way, so he laid him down to wait again. Soon a white man with a government wagon came along, but refused to take him up. W. threatened

7

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him, when the man got down and lifted him in. He says the horror of that ride can't be told ; the man drove so frightfully over such an awful road. At last he reached a hospital in Falmouth; as he lay there quite exhausted, he heard some one say, " The cars leave in half an hour for Aquia Creek." He inquired the way to the station, and only remembers getting on the platform when the cars started. Then he only knows he passed the night in a hospital there, and some one gave him his bed. All this time he had eaten nothing (and in fact since they had started on that Monday morning he had never eaten the three days' rations in his haversack). Again some one said near him, " The boat leaves directly for Washington." He asked if he could not go; they told him, not without a permit from the Provost-Marshal, and there was no time for that; so he remembers stealing out in the rear, to avoid the guards, and coming down to the wharf. Just as he crossed the plank, it was taken in and the boat started. This was about four. He remembers nothing again until he was at the wharf, some time in the night, at Washington, lying on the floor, so cold, and begging some one to close the doors.

Next morning he went up to the Sanitary rooms near there, had his wound dressed for the first time, — he thinks with camphor, by some fussy

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old woman who " deared " him and, though so miserable, made him laugh, she " poor-thinged " him so. He then asked to be sent to Alexandria; again they told him he must first go to the Provost- Marshal, and that his office was two miles off. He knew he could not get there, so he inquired the way to the Alexandria wharf. All this time seems just like a dream to him ; he said he was conscious of no pain or of any other thought, except " When I get there it will be all right." He walked half a mile to the wharf; they refused to take him, but said perhaps the government tugs would, and they lay back where he started from; so back the dear soul struggled again. Is n't it pitiful ? He just asked a tug if they stopped at Alexandria, and they told him yes (so strange all this time nobody questioned him, when usually one can't stir without a challenge). He walked on board, sat down in the coal hole, and remembered nothing more till he was walking up the stairs here.

Dr. Bellangee and I were both sitting down after having dressed the wounds, hearing the news read ; the papers had just been brought in when he opened the door. I saw this poor, dusty fellow all covered with powder and blood, all bent, leaning on a stick and looking so old; I never dreamed it was W., nor did any one, till he said, " Well, they 've plugged me again." We all rushed round him,

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and every one burst into tears, — even the doctor could not command himself. W. just fell on the nearest bed, and the tears gushed out. He said so piteously, " I 'm here at last." I can't tell you what we felt. In a moment the room was full, — clerks, doctors, everybody who could hobble came in. His eyes looked frightfully dilated and star ing, and he was frothing at the mouth as if crazy. After we recovered a little from our shock the doctor took him to a room by himself, examined his wound, and forbade his speaking or being spoken to, even by me. The room was made per fectly dark, and there the dear fellow has lain ever since, just between life and death. Yesterday noon his eyes contracted, and he began to show symp toms more favorable.

Dr. B. says he cannot understand how he ever got here in the state he was in; he never knew such an instance of will overcoming bodily suffer ing. He thinks now the skull is not fractured ; only that the brain is shocked, and that with care ful nursing he will soon be well. You can judge a little how weak he is, as he is allowed only one cracker and a tumbler of milk a day. It is a frightful responsibility, for the doctor says it all depends on me now; that one over- feeding will kill him. I have written you a long chapter on W. ; but he is our only wounded one yet from the grand

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fight. You will be surprised we are so; every moment we have been expecting the wounded, but all the boats go by to Washington. I 'm so sorry ; I long to have them to care for ; but I won't begin to make comments. I am so harassed by the thou sand rumors, I mean to hear or believe nothing till I know for certain.

I think I told you about the fuss we had with Dr. Page, H., etc., about some things the Sanitary Committee sent to Mrs. B., — an elegant lot for the expected wounded. When she at last got them, those miserable toads had eaten and drank everything but twelve cans of milk. Twenty-five pounds of sugar, twelve bottles of pickles, twelve bottles of cordial, and some other things had all been confiscated by them for their own use. Is n't it a shame? Just look how the people at home are cheated and duped! I wonder anybody there ever trusts any one concerned in the war.

OF THE

UNIVERSITY

OF

CHAPTER V

AS already stated, in July of 1863 Mrs. von Olnhausen was furloughed because of illness. Returning to Lexington for a month or more, in September she again reported for duty. A few pages (the last she wrote) of her Autobiography will best sum up this period and the changes in her duties which it brought about. The letters which follow the Autobiog raphy cover her experiences during the remaining months of 1863 in a new field of work, — the just established hospital at Morehead City, North Carolina.

Although it is unsafe to criticise without full knowledge of the facts and conditions, it would seem to have been more appropriate to send a woman of such enthusiasm for surgical nursing, of such personal courage, and of such physical vigor, to the front rather than to a hospital then so remote from hostilities, and in which medical cases were almost certain to preponderate. Mrs. von Olnhausen always was restive in Morehead City, and never was persuaded that she might not

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have done far more for the soldiers had she been sent to a field hospital, or at least to one close to the seat of war, where she could have devoted herself wholly to the care of severe wounds and capital operations. Miss Dix was doubtless greatly influenced by the wishes of Dr. Bellangee, who naturally desired to retain so reliable a nurse and so devoted a friend in this Morehead hospital, which he himself had organized.

\From the Autobiography^

There was at this time an epidemic of dysentery all through the hospital, and at last I was taken sick with it, and remained many days half con scious. All the nurses declared they were too busy to attend to me, so I lay alone most of the time. In the mean time the house surgeon attended me very carefully, and ordered a convalescent to sit in the room and supply my wants. He was the funniest little man I ever saw, — a shoe-maker who got a big bounty as substitute, but whose legs were so short that he kept falling out of the ranks. He finally got sick, and was sent here. He had big, round blue eyes, and in my half-delirium they looked as large as a cup. He was a German, and never took those eyes off me. He sat by the door from morning till night, never moving except to eat his meals. At last my friends came, and as

1 04 Adventures of an Army Nurse

soon as I could be moved I was taken home on leave of absence.

After all the turmoil of that life it was so de lightful to be quiet; but I soon began to recover, and in a month started back to Alexandria. When I got there, everything seemed different, as most of the nurses had been discharged and nearly all the doctors changed. I found two- letters awaiting me. One was from my old house surgeon, Dr. S., asking me to come to him at Chattanooga and take charge of a large hospital with a friend of mine. The other was from my old ward surgeon, Dr. Bellangee, who was now in charge of a large hos pital at Morehead City, N. C, asking me, and also the same friend, to come there. We decided to take the latter place. We had a tiresome passage from New York to New Berne, and were glad to get on shore. New Berne seemed pleasant, and I would gladly have stayed there ; but Dr. Bellangee was waiting to take us at once to Morehead City, where his hospital was established. He had done wonders in the short time he had been there. Eight barracks had been built, each containing about seventy-five beds, some of them already fitted up. This was certainly the best hospital I saw in the war. We had an excellent steward who pro vided most liberally, and we had everything the sick and wounded could ask for. Dr. Bellangee

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was a martinet about the hospital, seeming to be always everywhere. His skill in surgery was wonderful, and his care unceasing.

Morehead " City " was made up of about ten houses, and was the terminus of the railroad, so transportation for the wounded from New Berne was easy. There were at first very few patients, and I feared we should have too little work; but they began to send us patients from the over-filled hospitals in New Berne, and there were some skir mishes between the pickets around us, so we soon had no cause to complain. At first we had an assistant surgeon (so called) who was very tena cious of his rights, and once threatened me with discharge because in the middle of the night I applied a mustard draft, without consulting him, to a man who had colic. He said it was a surgical operation, and that I had no business to perform it. Dr. Bellangee, when complained to next morn ing, laughed quietly, wrote out a permission for me to use mustard if very necessary, read it to the surgeon, and sent it to me by his orderly. After that I could have covered the men with plaisters if I had chosen.

After the corruption and constant fusses of the Mansion House, ruled by unscrupulous cooks and a more unscrupulous steward, one can't describe the peace of this hospital. One thing was rather

1 06 Adventures of an Army Nurse

strange in Morehead City; not until the last few months of the war did the Sanitary Commission ever reach us. It was impossible to get any liquors or any delicacies except such as were sent me from Lexington. Those friends, I am thankful to say, never failed me. I am sure none of the men who knew me will ever forget Lexington, though they will have long ago forgotten me, for my foreign name was too hard to remember. I was always called Madam, or Mrs. O., or Mrs. Von; some times they twisted the O into all sorts of words. My little Reb, when he wrote me, called me " dear Mrs. Woe," and some have written to the care of the Lexington Post-Office, directed to Mrs. Zaugh or Mrs. Owe.

It was singular how one could detect the nation ality of a man, however poor English he might speak, by the way he bore suffering. Our men (I mean Americans) were impressible; the mo ment they were housed they were so cheerful and determined to get well that they usually did from sheer grit, however badly wounded. The Ger mans, though equally plucky in bearing pain, lay back with such a resigned manner, a sort of " As God wills " air. An Irishman complained of everything, and a Frenchman was the hardest to please of all ; he was always worse hurt and more wounded than any other. Our Yankees were

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 07

always ready to help and amuse others when them selves suffering ever so much, and it was every where remarked how much more quickly they got well. The poor Rebels were so discontented at finding themselves prisoners and wounded, and had been so badly fed, that their wounds were the hardest of all to heal, and it was some time before one could make them hopeful for the future. They believed, too, that if cured they would be sent to Northern prisons and treated as our men had been by them. While in the ward I treated and tended all alike, much to the disgust of some who looked on.

In view of some of the references to her Seces sion patients in Mrs. von Olnhausen's earlier let ters, it may seem that this last statement is rather too complacent. Her friends, however, will ap preciate that however she might rail at these Rebels, her humanity was too deep to permit of her neglecting them in the slightest degree.

The following letter, descriptive of her return journey to Washington, shows how ready she was to extract entertainment from the most untoward circumstances.

ALEXANDRIA, Sept. 4, '63, Friday.

I arrived here yesterday morning. Had time in Washington to fly to Miss Dix and report, and

io8 Adventures of an Army Nurse

get the boat; and thought I should write at once; but Mrs. B. wanted me to go right back to Wash ington with her, so I was too tired when I got home to think of anything; but I will begin at the beginning.

All F.'s notes and telegrams did not one bit of good. I had a lonely ride from Boston to the [Fall River] boat; but the last part of the route a pleasant woman from Ohio sat with me and offered her husband's services. I told her, how ever, the conductor would attend to me. He went on board and was most polite, but could not find F.'s friend; so I went into the cabin, and that's the last I saw of anybody. I waited till nine before I gave up. I don't know how many times I sent, and finally word came that all state-rooms had been engaged for two weeks to come ; so then I began to hunt for a sleeping place. By great persuasion I got one on the floor, close by the gang way. Such a crowd you never saw. One hundred and fifty women and babies got on at Newport, and every one was sick; the sea was very rough, and even the poor little babies were as sick as their mothers. One woman, a lady, too, had five chil dren, one a baby; they all were so sick, she just laid the baby on the floor and left it. I took it up and held it till it slept, and then laid it on the foot of some one's bed. You never saw such

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a sight; every one who came in or out stepped over me.

We had such a jolly old stewardess. A waiter from upstairs came down in the middle of the night and wanted Mrs. F. ; said that her husband was sick as death, and she must come right away. The stewardess called out for Mrs. F. ; nobody answered. " How can I find her? " she said. He went and came back, saying, " Mr. F. says you can find her in a berth in the back part; you will know her by a great pimple she has. I disremem- ber where he said it was." " How can I find out Mrs. F. and her pimple? You go back and tell Mr. F. if he wants Mrs. F. and her pimple he can come and hunt her up ; I 've got business enough of my own to attend to." The man went off, and just then Mrs. F. appeared in full undress, very sick, and tugging a very sick baby. Stew ardess and I were glad to have our curiosity relieved with regard to the whereabouts of that pimple; it was on one side of her forehead and might modestly be called a horn, it stuck out so far. She sent word to Mr. F. that she and baby were too sick to live, and he must come right to her. No Mr. F. appeared, and she and her pimple retired for the night.

Another woman kept calling, " Oh, stewardess, do come help me, I am so sea-sick." She was

l io Adventures of an Army Nurse

flying around making beds, and said, " Every one must do their own sea-sickness ; I 've got a hun dred and fifty beds to make, and that's as much as I can do without doing your sea-sickness." Four women were sitting together, and all so sick ; she brought one basin and said, " There, you must all be sick in that, I have not half enough to go round." Altogether, it was a very funny night.

We were delayed by the fog, and it was eight before we got in. I gave my checks to the express man, and then had to wait till eleven before I could get my trunks. The ride to and through Philadelphia was as dreary as anything could well be. I sat beside a copperhead who made me furious, so I tried to go to sleep. I think the horse-car arrangement through Philadelphia is too mean for anything. I never was so sleepy and so cold.

At twelve I got into the night car, and might have had a good sleep except for an English cockney girl who "set up for shapes" and could n't go to bed because a man was sleeping in the same car. " Mama, 'ow can I go to bed when there is a man here?" "Well, dear, he has a right here." " But, Mama, what 'orrid customs ! You see, ladies, I have only just crossed the water, and it 's so 'ard to get used to the customs, we think it 's so hawful to sleep with a man in the room."

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 1 1

It turned out afterwards she had lived here all her life and had been to England only on a visit. The man lay and laughed loud as he could. She opened her sack and asked Mama " which wine she would 'ave, port or sherry." She took a big horn, and then regularly undressed, for all her scruples, right in the alley, and finally looked into this man's berth and said, " 'Ow can you sleep with the curtains so close, no hair ? I must have mine open and the port side door too ; " at first she had insisted on pinning his together herself. All this while a funny man was, with many inducements, persuad ing her to sleep in the car ; her modesty seemed to vanish with him. She talked for two hours, and then my bunk broke down and I came near mash ing her to death; the fright silenced her, and I got another bunk and finally slept.

Miss Dix was glad to see me, and is decidedly of the opinion that I must go to New Berne. I have seen a plan of the hospital and it is splendid there, with many wounded men who need a sur gical nurse ; but when I got here Dr. Page was so glad to see me, and said he wanted me so much that I don't know what to do. I shall let Miss Dix decide when she comes this afternoon. The Man sion House is dreary enough; I don't believe I can stay here.

We have got into a fine scrape with our mess.

1 1 2 Adventures of an Army Nurse

H. (we think it was he) has sued the butcher (I mean Government, through his information) and fined him (the butcher) fifty dollars, which he had to pay. Of course, Mrs. B. appealed, and the trial has been going on for a week, till to-day it 's decided against us. Now we have fifty dollars to pay and, besides, lose thirty dollars' worth of meat which they have confiscated because, owing to the fuss, it was left over till this month. All the nurses except Mrs. W. and us two refuse to pay their part; so we do it alone. Mrs. B. has ad vanced me the money till pay-day comes. Miss Dix says she will take it to higher authority, and Dr. Page says that after we had drawn the meat, we had a right to do what we liked with it. I know there is no right or justice in it; but what are we to do? So now we are back on bread and beef; the only thing is we have enough of these ; but, oh, it 's hard living after home fare. There can never be an end to fusses in the Mansion House.

TRANSPORT SHIP, PIER 12, NEW YORK, Tuesday [September 8, 1863].

Were I to write all my adventures since my last letter to you, I would have to write a longer one than you would care to read. I saw Miss Dix after I wrote, and she decided I must go to New Berne anyway ; so I had to tell Dr. Page. I hated

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to tell him and the Chaplain, for they have both been such good friends to me. Dr. Page asked me to stay; but I told him it was impossible; I could not remain where H. (the Steward) was. Then he asked me would I come back to him when he had a hospital without H. He wanted me to promise that I would; so I did, and the last thing he said at parting was that I must keep my promise. After I went out, Dr. B. re ports that he said, " There goes the best and truest woman I've met in the service; I like every inch of her."

Miss Dix said we would have to leave about Wednesday; so Saturday I went to Washington to see Mr. U., the beetle man. I did all my pack ing that evening, and Sunday, at three, we left the Mansion House, for a while I hope. But now hear the worst of it ! Just as we were getting into the ambulance came an order for our arrest and search ! There 's a sister for you ! That devil H. sent information to Dr. Page, who was out of town, that we were removing large quantities of hospital stores, and so he ordered the officer of the day to arrest, etc. ! Dr. Barnes happened to be the man. He came right to Mrs. B. and told her that rather than do it he would be " broke of the service." He sent off for the Chaplain, who came in furious. Now the only stores we took with us

8

1 14 Adventures of an Army Nurse

at all were a box he gave us, which had for a long time stood in the store-room, but had never been unpacked, and those things I brought from home. I found it would cost too much to bring anything more. Mrs. B. did not tell me, so I did not under stand at all the fuss. If I had I never would have left so. I would have insisted on an examination and have brought H. to grief. The first I knew of it was when we were half-way to Baltimore. I don't blame Dr. Page at all. Mrs. B. is furious with him; but of course he knew nothing of the truth, and had to act as he did. I am prepared for anything now! All the clerks and stewards were around to see the fun, and must have been much disappointed.

Such a ride to Washington as we had was never known; the road was crowded with soldiers and horses, everything moving, — all showing a battle is soon to come, I think. The dust was so thick we had to stop for it, and some of the horses even fell down the embankments. Then came up a frightful storm and nearly drowned us. When we got to Washington there was no sleeping-car, not even a hook to hang our things on. It was such a long, sleepy ride, ending in that horrid horse-car arrangement through Philadelphia. It was very early morning when we got here, and we could not see the proper authorities till ten, so

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 1 5

we went "bumming" around to find a breakfast. How forlorn a city is early in the morning.

The captain said we might come on board to night, though he should not sail till some time to-morrow. So we came with our traps this evening. Could you see us ! Such a dirty vessel, a half-and-half, sometimes steams and sometimes sails, — both poorly, I guess. I wish you could see the cockroaches, too; there never was the like before, I think; everything is covered with them, and everything black with smoke. I think, too, every one is drunk on board ; which does not make it any too comfortable. When one goes nursing, all things must be expected. The captain says if the weather is good we shall be there in three days. I am glad to go to sea at last, but somehow I feel so strange; I seem to be drifting about without any will of my own. Miss S. would have a nice chance to talk " Heavenly Fatherish " !

NEW BERNE,1 N. C., Sunday evening [September 13, 1863].

We are so far safe on our journey, as you will be glad to learn. We have still thirty miles farther to go, and shall then, I hope, find friends and a comfortable home for a while at least. Dr. Bel- langee's hospital is at Morehead City, instead of

1 Spelling adopted in official reports ; but elsewhere one finds also Newberne and Newbern.

1 1 6 Adventures of an Army Nurse

here, and it 's been such a bother to get things straightened out. We leave here in the morning at nine, so in my next I shall be able to tell you all about it. That night I wrote you from New York I did not dare tell you how homesick I already felt. I think you would have been hardly willing for me to go if you could have seen me in that dirty, miserable ship. I did not dare think of home, or that it was only a week since I had left you all; it seemed a month by that time. I can't describe that ship, no words can; if there was one redeeming thing about it, I would tell it. It was owned by Jersey people; every one from cook up was hail-fellow, nobody saw to anything, the cabin was never cleaned while we were on board, and as to the other places, you can have no idea of the filth. How I ever could be brought to sleep in that berth amazes me now; it was frightful. Of course I passed all my time, except the few hours I did sleep, entirely alone on deck; for Mrs. B. was sick from the time we started, and nobody was even civil. There were lots of officers on board, everybody drank, and all were sick a good part of the way, except Colonel C. and myself. The first night was pretty frightful; the old tub rolled badly enough. We were about thirty miles below Navesink lights when a storm came on, and the captain had to run back to Sandy

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 1 7

Hook, where we lay till next day at ten. My! were n't the people sick !

Yesterday morning we got to Cape Hatteras, where we lay all day. I went ashore in the tug and wandered about as I liked. There are two forts there, garrisoned with North Carolina troops; they don't look like our Northern sol diers; but such a beach and such waves I never saw, — miles of it, and the breakers are fearful. The beach, though so beautiful, is very danger ous, being full of quicksands. At noon Ensign Livermore of the gunboat stationed there came with his gig and invited Mrs. B. and me to dine with him; he is a Massachusetts man and was most polite. The captain of the tug, too, invited us to dine with him; so we had no lack of attention. The fact is women are so scarce they are appreci ated. Then, I expect, on the ship the men were mostly young and thought we were two old cats and of no account ; but since I came ashore I find they all thought I was Secesh and going over the lines. I remember two or three asked me if I was. I answered no ; but as B. used to say, " did not feel like talking," so did not enlighten them. I would have been furious if I had thought they took me for a Reb. We got in here this morning by daylight. It is such a lovely town, — not the streets or houses, I mean, but the trees, — every

1 1 8 Adventures of an Army Nurse

street so beautifully shaded, and with such large gardens. I wanted to go to the fort, but a big rain came, so we have had to stay in. I shall be glad when we are quiet and settled; a fortnight of rushing around is as much as I want at a time.

MOREHEAD CITY, N. C., September 24, 1863.

I can't tell exactly what my impression was in getting here; it looked forlorn enough. We are thirty miles from New Berne, cars once a day. Dr. Bellangee received us most kindly; at once took us over the grounds, but did not give us our places for a couple of days, most of which time I spent in the woods about us. The open sea is only two miles away, and the air is splendid; enough of it, too, for it blows a tempest. All is in such an unfinished state yet here; but Doctor is driving the men to get them on. Six of the large barracks (forty-five beds each) are com pleted, three or four more are to be soon done. They are not all filled yet, but there is some talk of breaking up the New Berne hospitals and sending all the sick here, which I should think would be done, it 's so unhealthful there. We have only two hundred yet here; most all are Massachu setts men, — the Seventeenth, Twenty-third, and Twenty-fifth ; and two or three more lie all around here ; the Twenty-eighth, too, is in New Berne. It

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 1 9

seems good to have Massachusetts men sick; but most all are too well to be interesting. Night before last, about one, a train came down express ; next morning I was told that the Second Massa chusetts had come to garrison a fort near here. I tell you it made my heart beat; but I soon found it was the Second Artillery. It 's only been from home five weeks, and already so many are sick with chills. I have three of them very ill with fever.

I told you I was too mad last Sunday to write; the reason was we had planned to go on a little excursion, — all the mess ; but the Chaplain made a fuss and stopped it, and asked us as a favor to go to church, at three. That was bad enough; but after we were done there, and thoroughly shrived, Dr. Bellangee stood up and said he would excuse no one, and expected us all to follow him and go to dress parade of the Eighty-sixth (I believe), that lies near us, and after that attend services there. I asked to be excused, but he said no. You may think I was mad; here we were marched out like so many cats, — first the two doctors (Doctor has only one assistant) ; then the steward; after them we two; and after us all the lame, halt, and blind by twos over this sand for a quarter of a mile to see the poorest drilling I ever saw and hear the worst preaching. I got

1 20 Adventures of an Army Nurse

so thoroughly cross that I could have sworn every moment. To crown all he would not then excuse us, but made us all march back again. I would not speak another word the whole evening. Did you ever get that mad you would not be satisfied ? That 's the way I was ; I could not even sleep.

MOREHEAD CITY, September 28 [1863].

I was so glad to get your letter yesterday, and should have answered it immediately, but was sick in bed. I can't know the cause, for I 'm sure it could not be too much eating, as in all our poor eating this beats all. I don't mean in quantity, for I never was in a hospital so liberally fed ; but as I can't eat salt horse, and never did like potatoes and onions, and, until this week, we have had to buy all our bread, which has been both sour and heavy, I don't think it was eating that did it. I felt weak as a rat yesterday, but am all right again, and such a beautiful day never was seen.

We had a very bad storm last night and looked out for wrecks this morning, but can see none. The surf sounds so grand, and it 's just like a June day. So many mocking-birds are singing, and, as we have had no frost yet, it 's beautifully green in the woods. I believe I begin to feel a little less homesick, but am no better contented with my work, and have fully determined not to

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 2 1

stay here long. As far as the doctor goes, I could not ask better ; he is kind as can be, and gives us every privilege; but I really have nothing to do. I should die to have so little work ; I don't believe in wasting time so. I am sure I 'm equal to better things. I certainly did not come into the service to play; and every walk I take I feel as if I were a real humbug. I have only one man really sick, and those I 've had never stay sick more than three or four days ; as soon as they breathe this fine air they get right up.

MOREHEAD CITY, November 12 [1863]. MANSFIELD HOSPITAL.

I first of all must ask forgiveness for neglecting so long to write ; but you see I every day expected Miss Dix's answer, and then, though it came three or four days ago, I felt so disappointed at its not containing an immediate recall that it put me out of heart for writing. Excuses over, I '11 tell about Miss Dix's brief letter, — same old style : " My child, be patient; not one nurse in any hospital has much to do just now, but you'll soon have enough to do. I may send you to Nashville or Hilton Head, circumstances will determine which ! In the mean time do not leave without authority ! " So I wait ! Don't think I shall leave here without regret, for really I never have had so many friends in any place.

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This climate is beautiful; only one frost yet, night before last, and that slight; and the sea always so grand, and making it so healthful. Then these boat excursions are too jolly; always some adventure. Getting aground and having to wait for hours for the tide is a common experience. The people, too, are such a different race from any I 've ever met before ; they beat Illinois hollow. Here they sit from morning till night in their cabins, with their snuff sticks, chewing, chewing, never reading; sometimes spinning or knitting a little; looking so vacant; living on fish and " Eupon " tea. I don't know how the word is spelled, but it sounds like that; it's an evergreen something like myrtle; they parch the leaves and then boil them. To me it tastes like senna. They have very little flour and less cornmeal; but the everlasting sweet potatoes are everywhere. Such a life ! You can't make them talk. There they sit and chew or pipe. They need us. This Shackel- ford Island opposite us is I don't know how many miles long. It 's very narrow, never half a mile wide. The best house on it an Irishman would be ashamed of. They are all fishermen, and it 's said there is not a Reb on the whole island.

I am going to give a picture of one of my days and then I '11 have done. I rise at reveille (six). I never go into the ward before breakfast, so I

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have time to bathe and dress at my ease. Break fast about seven. From there I go to the cook house to see what the bill of fare is for the day; then over here in time for the surgeon's call at eight. I go all around with the doctor, do what I have to do in this ward (Division i) ; then, at nine, Doctor and I go to Division 7, a big ward for commissioned officers I have charge of. I stay another hour there, then over to the cook house, make my puddings, back to Division i in time for the mail at eleven, over to the cook-house to see that I get the best that is going for my trays, back again to my wards to see dinner dis tributed, then off to my dinner in another direction. After dinner I pass an hour or two in this ward (here are all the sickest men), unless we go for a walk. At four I go to the cook-house again to see about supper, canter back to give it to them, then canter off to supper. Evenings I generally pass with Mrs. B. Tattoo at eight; but we don't have to mind that; ten is our hour for breaking up. So you can see what every day is when we are not off sailing. All this cantering round is very healthy, as you must know. I 'm always in the open air.

I send you this little rough sketch of our hos pital grounds, so you can see where I live. It is quite a walk to the different places I have to visit

1 24 Adventures of an Army Nurse

through the day. These large barrack wards each have forty beds and can hold more. Just now there is hardly an empty bed in the whole hospital, but there are no sick men except in Division i, and these have only chronic diarrhoea; just have to have their diet regulated and to lie in bed; they need no other care.

MOREHEAD CITY, December 10 [1863].

Still here ! How much longer I 'm to write from this I don't know; and there are thousands now who need me. I feel so discouraged. I have a mind to cut Miss Dix altogether and run away; you can't know how impatient I feel. She told me in her last brieflet to wait with patience till the sixth, and then she should write again and assign me to another place. That is why I did not write Sunday; I wanted to await her letter. It has not come, and I 'm mad as a pig. Really you can't know how I want to get out of this.

Yesterday they brought me a wounded Rebel, not wounded by fighting, but in making shingles or something. He cut his hand fearfully, and the artery was entirely severed ; it keeps bleeding, so he has to be watched day and night. It 's pretty tedious to have to sit all day looking at the very dirtiest paw you ever saw. He is so fright-

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ened about himself. This and the nigger who was shot, all for love, are the only wounds I 've had to dress, so I am forgetting all I knew.

MOREHEAD CITY, December [1863].

The whole hospital has been in such a state of consternation and trustification the last ten days it 's been impossible to write or do anything one ought to. News came at that time that this hos pital was to be broken up and all scattered to the winds. Nobody knew for why, only that it was to be done. I was sure then of leaving, expecting perhaps to have to go home, when Miss Dix did not order me somewhere; but Thursday night, about six, the Inspectors arrived. We were not expecting them, and had made no preparations. Dr. Bellangee suggested waiting till daylight; but they thought to catch us, and started about eight with lanterns, blundering round, waking up the sick men, and poking into everything. There were six of them. Next morning they started early, without Dr. Bellangee, and went over all again. When they left the doctor, they said it was inevi table that the hospital be closed; the orders were peremptory from General Butler (who had never seen the house anyway). When they got back to

headquarters, Dr. McC. said " he was if it

should be closed ; it was the best regulated hospital

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he ever saw, — everything was as near perfect as could be." Dr. Bellangee was radiant, for he did not know where they would send him to, and was so nicely fixed here. The weather is beautiful, like spring; we still go boating and rowing.

CHAPTER VI

DESPITE her continued pleadings to be sent to the front, Mary von Olnhausen remained at Morehead City throughout the greater part of 1864. Her impatience at inac tion was very great during the early months of that year; but the numbers of sick and wounded grad ually increased ; a large influx of refugee " poor whites " gave scope for her extraordinary loving- kindness; and, in the fall, came an enemy worse than the Rebels — yellow fever — for her to do battle with, especially in trying to rescue from its grim clutches her beloved Dr. Bellangee. Her devotion and skill could not, however, save him; and soon after his death, worn out in body and mind, she herself contracted the disease and lay for many days critically ill. Her care for others was requited by the tender nursing which at this time she herself received; and as soon as it was possible she was taken North to that Lexington which she always looked upon as her haven of refuge. The following letters cover these nine months of impatience, of ever-increasing work

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and responsibility, and, finally, of the great sorrow which came in the death of her dear chief.

January I [1864], 12 A. M., Friday morning.

Happy New Year, and many kisses to all at home!

I was going to have such a good time writing and watching the Old Year out, as I have done for many years, and singing my one hymn, when, just as I had got a letter written to C., came in Captain C., wet through to the skin, cold as the iciest of ice, hungry like a wolf, and, more than all, with a badly sprained ankle (I 'm hanged if I know how to spell that last word — is it k or c?). Of course, I had to leave all and attend to him, and so at twelve, instead of having written you a good, cheerful letter, as I should have done, I was suaging (N. C. dialect) his swollen limb (can't venture that other word again), and only had time to begin this and sing my hime.

Now to-day I 'm all down in the bluest depths, cross or something, and impatient, forgetting in my wilful wickedness that the good God has given me anything this past year to be thankful for, even in this sterile spot, and only remembering friends and joys that I can't reach, and looking gloomily backward instead of hopefully and joy fully forward as a good, pious Christian ought to

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do and does. I 'm sure I would be pious if I could, but I 've tried and tried and can't catch the spirit ; either I don't know how, or the Lord won't help me; "I 'se so wicked, 'pears like." Anyway I 'm not always so desponding, thank fortune, and am sometimes singing praises all day long. Good Lord, deliver me from this slough ; I 'm in it fairly up to the chin.

To read the following letter, and to remember that the writer of it was then nearly fifty years old, is to gain some idea of the abounding energy of this " second-best belle."

MOREHEAD CITY (as usual), January 3, 1864. I am so discouraged about writing, I have no heart to. First of all, now let me darn my com- mander-in-chief. Here she will keep me for the rest of my life, I suppose. She wrote to Dr. Bel- langee to ask if he was satisfied with his nurses and could make them useful. Dr. B. of course wrote, yes ; and so I 'm to remain. I feel so dis heartened, I can't get over it. To be sure, just now we have two very bad typhoid cases ; but they can't last much longer, and then I shall be out of a job and can just loaf. For the last fortnight I have had a ward cram-full; but every one is up for discharge or furlough, and there are no more

9

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sick here; so then what '11 I do? Why can't somebody want me and make me come?

You will be surprised to know I went to a real ball New Year's night. All sorts of fine doings over at Fort Macon. Dr. Bellangee would not take a denial from Mrs. B. or me; so we had to go, though I really had nothing to wear. I patched up that purple skirt of mine, and the white waist that D. gave me; but I had no gloves or boots, only thick ones, and felt rather shabby ; and then having hardly a spear of hair! I was not first-best, but, as there were only seven ladies, I had to be a belle, and so danced continuously.

You can have no idea of the storm that night; it never rained harder. The sea was fearful. We went a mile to the station on a hand car, and then took the tug to the Fort (two miles) ; it was about as wild a night as one would care to put to sea in; and just after we arrived there came up the awfulest thunder-shower you ever heard; it sounded as if all the guns in the fort were ex ploding. Our party of five ladies was the only one that ventured out. There were thirty-seven invited (ladies, I mean) and they had made big preparations. The dance-hall was trimmed with flags and evergreens, the music was good, and the supper fine; but it was the dullest affair I ever went to. All were so disappointed that it was

Adventures of an Army Nurse 1 3 1

impossible to get up any life. It was so stormy we could not leave till five in the morning; and then when we got to the station the mule who dragged our hand car down had run away, and the nigs had run away too; so we had to come that mile on our tired pedals. It was a tough walk with the gale dead ahead, and nearly blowing us off the track into the sea; for it is only a pier that the cars run on. I flattered myself I 'd have an hour's sleep anyway ; but just as I got upstairs they came and said F. was worse. As soon as I looked at him I saw he would n't live long, so just hurried off my ball fixings and stayed with him till he died, about nine that morning.

MOREHEAD CITY, January 19 [1864]. I have only a few minutes just to tell you how tired I am and let you know where I am. For the past ten days I have had no attendant but one Frenchman, who does not speak a word of Eng lish. When this last call was made for all able- bodied men to return to their regiments, my watchman had to go; and the same day both my attendants (of course, broken-down invalids) were taken sick, one with typhoid and one with acute dysentery, so I had to watch all day and part of every night, besides doing extra cooking and all kinds of work through the day. Of course I

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am tired out; as you may see when I say I have fourteen patients all in bed, ten with the worst kind of typhoid pneumonia, so they have to be lifted and fed and washed, as they can't raise a hand. I have not left my ward, except to eat, since I wrote last.

MOREHEAD CITY, February 5, 1864.

I wrote you on Monday that news had come that New Berne was attacked. On Tuesday, about twelve o'clock, a despatch came that Newport Barracks, ten miles from this, was attacked by a large Rebel force. It was held by the Ninth Vermont, one company of the Second Massachu setts Heavy Artillery, and a single company of the Nineteenth Wisconsin. Colonel Jourclan of the One Hundred and Fifty-eighth New York started from here immediately with what few men he had left (the best had already been sent in defence of New Berne), and two field-pieces and a few men from Company C of the Massachusetts H. A., leaving this place almost defenceless. I forgot to say that all the night before the cars were running, bringing down arms and ammunition for the re cruits of the One Hundred and Fifty-eighth and Second; until they were brought there was not a single gun left in the town; smart, I think.

Well, to go on with my story. Jourdan started

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with his raw recruits, but the cars were attacked and he had to come back. Soon the negroes began to flock in ; they came by hundreds, such frightened beings, leaving everything except their children behind them. The gunboats (one, I mean, a small one) came up and lay opposite the town. Every citizen was compelled to take arms, and every negro was put to work on the entrenchments.

Such a scurrying time you never saw. All the company stores were sent on board the ships, and all the stores of the regiment too; and every one began to pack his traps. Everything seemed to be thought of except the patients. Mrs. B. was in a fine stew packing her trunk. By dark we could see Newport Barracks burning, but could learn nothing of the men who defended it. You never did hear of such a night, I guess, as that was, — the citizen women screaming from every house, so loud that we could hear them, because their men were compelled to fight and, of course, to be killed without mercy; the terrified negroes con stantly arriving; the thousand reports brought in each moment; the occasional firing of a gun by some very scared sentry ; and always such a rush ing to and fro. I utterly refused to pack or budge unless the patients went too; but, at one o'clock, C. [hospital attendant] insisted on my sending my traps at least to the Fort, if I would not go myself.

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Flying men had begun to come in, some slightly wounded, all with alarming stories; and some of those at the fort which defends the town (Fort Heckman) could hear the Rebs chopping trees, etc.

So I began to pack. War packing is a pretty hopeless job at any time; under such pressure it was impossible to choose. I wanted my treasures, and C. said to take the dry-goods; so it was war between us. However, I managed to smuggle in my best traps; but I began to realize how incon venient they are unless one is decidedly fond of them. We got through at last, and then went out to watch the beginning of the expected battle. There were not three hundred men in all, and the Rebs were said to be five thousand strong. The moon came up, and it was such a lovely scene, — the signals from the two forts and the gunboats (two at the station and one at Fort Macon), the frogs singing as if nothing were going on, and the air so warm and still. We sat for hours, and only when the morning broke went to bed. The patients had at last fallen asleep, and broad day light found them still sleeping. I had to give big doses of morphine to accomplish even that.

Well, the night was over, and the Rebels had not come, and everybody was quite worn out. The excitement was intense, cut off as we were from all communications, and just waiting to be " took."

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About ten in the morning news came that the Ninth Vermont and Mix's New Cavalry (I for got to mention them) had crossed the Newport River, burned the railroad bridge, and come down on the other side to Beaufort. I must tell you first how this place lies: we are on a very narrow strip with Bogue Sound on one side and Calico Creek on the other; then another narrow strip, and then Newport River; so you see they had a good distance to get round. They were soon brought over here, and people felt a little relieved to have some more help. At first it was supposed half of the men were killed or prisoners, but they have been gradually straggling back, so now but few, comparatively, are not accounted for, — only the Nineteenth Wisconsin has not been heard from. I '11 bet they fought; that is a bully regi ment, and we fear that all who were left are prisoners.

Now here was another day and night, — con stant alarms, everybody all ready for flight. Doc tor gave shelter in one of the barracks to about a hundred negro women and children who had to be fed and cared for, besides the sick and tired soldiers pouring in all day; but at least we had more soldiers in the forts, though they were tired ones. Still the Rebels did not come. All day yesterday (Thursday) we could see fires in all

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directions, perhaps turpentine and perhaps homes of loyal men. About two we could see parties of people moving about on the opposite side of the creek a mile and a half away, and big fires too; now it seemed inevitable that we were to be " done took," and I guess no one lay down quite easy in his bed. But morning found us all right, and, later, the Spaulding came with the Twenty- first Connecticut, old fighters, and, they say, good. Anyway, at two they, with the Ninth Vermont and Cavalry, started on an expedition; the cars took them up seven miles and left them to proceed to Newport Barracks on foot ; of course, by this time the Rebels were miles away. I have no doubt reinforcements will be sent to our help from New Berne unless that is taken, and I reckon it is not, though it has been surrounded; but they have many forts and gunboats. All communication is cut off, the bridge burned and telegraph destroyed, so God knows how they may be; anyway, all are sure of a quiet night, and I have, as you see, a little leisure to tell you about it. I have been so often reminded of Mrs. Bluebeard and her sister Ann, for there has been such a constant watching from high places for reinforcements, and my gallery has been the principal scene of action all the day : " Do you see any steamers ? " " Nary a steamer," — till the head was almost off. I believe Madam

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was going to have her head off; I 've almost for gotten the modus operandi.

Through all this I have been so provoked that I could not get up one bit of a scare or even excite ment; I could not even feel anxious. Of course I could not sleep for the everlasting hubbub, but, I don't say it for boasting, I could n't see it. It seemed to me quite a nice phase in war life. Had I really believed the Ninth and Cavalry made a good stand and had really lost many men, I might have felt different ; but as they once passed six months in Chicago as paroled prisoners, and Harper's Ferry was all the fight they ever were in, I believed they would skedaddle ingloriously, as I believe they did, and as we most of us here meant to. I may be unjust, but that is what I say. Anyway, one thing they did, and that was mean; they burned the long bridge behind them, completely cutting off the retreat of the Cavalry and the Second Massachusetts [H. A.] and poor Wisconsin, so they had to swim for it; and it is said many of the Second boys were drowned; anyway, they are missing yet.

They talk of many wounded and killed, but they brought only three into Beaufort, and one or two have straggled in here. All that came I have in my ward. The Ninth had been recruited by four hundred; the recruits arrived at eleven and were

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attacked at twelve; rather soon to begin, but it is said they stood up well. It seems, though, that the most who are missing are the new ones. One sad story I have heard: two brothers stood side by side, and both were killed within a moment of each other; a hard sorrow for the poor parents at home. I fear I have not given you a very graphic account of what has really been quite an interesting episode in our life; but it is so hard to tell stories good.1

I sometimes am tempted to send you a nigger; I know such a nice servant, and she wants to go North. I have a little one to take care of my room and run my errands. If her nose were in order, she would be quite charming ; but I am constantly charging on her for that, and it is quite wearing; especially, too, as I have to supply her the needful apparatus, which she is continually losing.

MOREHEAD CITY, February 25 [1864].

I have had my hands full of wounded at last. I have twelve wounds to-day, all, I reckon, that were wounded in that bloody battle of Newport Barracks. My crowning was a Rebel who was brought to me to-day with a good Union ball through his lungs; such a gaunt, haggard, ema ciated specimen of humanity you never have seen,

1 For these skirmishes see " Official Records of the War of the Rebellion," Series I. vol. xxxiii. p. 47.

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because such kinds of men are never found up there ; they are peculiar to North Carolina, a true type of all. When I should tell he was dirty, you could not then understand the word in its full sense; you must see a Southern soldier first to under stand. I had him washed and cut and clothed, and now I hope to be able to approach him without having my nose tied up. The poor fellow, though, is very grateful and very sick. He was left, with another, when the Rebels retired at their leisure; but before they left him they stripped off all his clothes ; they could not afford to leave even those. I have put him in a room with my pet patient, Will S., of the gallant Ninth. Now Willie is a real character, and I expect there will be some fun there; he has a ball in the back of his head. He makes so much fun of his wound and the way his face was pointed ; often asks me if I had not rather be dressing that than his nose, which would prob ably have been the seat of the injury if he had minded his old mother and not run ; but, he says, somehow the legs would go that way spite of all he could do. He declares that in the midst of it, thinking about her, he said to himself, "Land, she would run too, if she was here and saw all those darned Rebs after her ; " and that was the last thought he had for some time. He is such a homely fellow, and with his shaved head and bandages

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would make a capital scarecrow. Poor man! it is doubtful if he gets well, and he knows his danger ; but it does n't stop his fun at all.

Another good patient I have is Tom G., of the same regiment. He is shot in the right arm, near the shoulder. There is constant danger of hemor rhage, and he is in intense pain (probably the nerve is severed) ; but he bears it splendidly, and is always ready to laugh. His companion is a cross Frenchman who had a bad wife and hates women ; so he kept his head always